Horror didn’t used to be two hours of stitched together CCTV footage, or the webcam chat history of a dead teenager.
It used to be about coming up with the sickest and most awful things that could be done to other human beings, and filming them for the grotesque enjoyment of an unsuspecting audience. As the adage used to say, “If you can’t scare them to death, you can at least make them sick.” Probably.
So Halloween is right around the corner, waiting to pounce with all its glorious excess of slutty cosplay, old horror movie reruns and disappointingly awkward costume parties (trust us, we’ve been there).
But what if the same old Halloween routine, commercialised and nerfed as it is, finds you wanting more? if the haunted houses just don’t make you scream and yelp anymore, and you’re tired of family-friendly celebrations of all that is ghoulish and monstrous, perhaps we can turn your attention to some good old stomach-churning cringe-inducing gore-fests.
Guaranteed to stick its blood-covered claws deep into your jaded psyche and rattle you out of your apathetic daze you call daily life.
Evil Dead (2013)
Before it got all wacky and spawned some of the best one liners in decades, Evil Dead was THE low budget gorefest of its time. Or it tried to be, on a tiny pocket of funds. The latest remake takes the spirit of the original and cranks it up to level 11. There's slicing, dicing, stabbing, dismemberment and demonic possession. It is literally raining blood.
And if Evil Dead isn't complete for you without Bruce Campbell, then you'll have the new Ash vs. The Evil Dead TV series that launches on Halloween. It's a great time to be alive, baby.
Event Horizon (1997)
A movie all about hell off earth. Also, we don't know if Sam Neill has ever been in a movie in which people don't die horribly. Bringing supernatural terror into space, Event Horizon was Alien meets Hellraiser in the best way possible.
Although it wasn't a box office success, it gained a steady cult following as a suspenseful, oppressive and ultimately disturbing piece of survival horror. Event Horizon was also quoted as one of the inspirations for the awesome game series Dead Space.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (based on true events) is notable for being the first real popular movie to feature a chainsaw as a weapon of mass murder. But it was the fairly recent 2003 remake that upped the ante as far as gory kills are concerned. Disappointingly, the use of the titular chainsaw is fairly sparse, about as much as Christian Bale used his in American Psycho. But why complain when you set up a bunch of revelling teens with a redneck cannibal cult and their pet hulk of a psycho? Let the heads roll!
Also, look forward to the 2016 remake, tentatively entitled Leatherface.