As long as you have an absolutely limitless appetite for installing Java updates, Runescape is the MMORPG for you. The game does have a spiffy new HTML5 beta, enabling the game to access your machine’s hardware for 3D rendering - but that only works for users running Chrome under a recent build of Windows. For the rest of us, it’s a question of running endless java updates until Runescape sees sense. It can be a testing experience.
Once you’re in, you’re met with an giant troll invasion which you need to help repel. It’s standard ‘click on thing, select option from mini-menu’ stuff. You won’t be confused. It all works perfectly well.
There’s nothing especially innovative about either gameplay or setting but the solo missions are sensibly paced, and there are enough hints on screen to prevent anyone from getting too lost. It’s an entertaining, accessible route to a fantasy version of the past where men were men and nobody had to worry about which version of Java they had installed.
But be careful. Before you know it, you'll be mining and selling coal for eight hours a day just so you can reach level 60 and access the fancy private mine which is free from lesser lower-level peasants. You have been warned.
Not quite so much a game, as a destination, the UsVsTh3m is full of mini-games to soak up those idle minutes you’d otherwise spend working on your novel or reconnecting with your family. Probably their best, right now, is You Can’t Do Simple Maths Under Pressure. It is what it sounds like.
A series of primary-school standard multiple-choice maths problems that you have to answer against the clock. If you’re more of a wordy person, try You Can’t Write Proper English Under Pressure. Either way, you’ll be shaking like a Polaroid picture by the time you get to level 6. And what could be more relaxing than that?
14: Desktop Tower Defense
Swarms of jolly little cartoon blobs want to migrate across your desktop. Build towers to create a gauntlet for them to run. The more you destroy, the more credits you have to build more towers. More sophisticated types of blob appear. You upgrade your defences. Rinse and repeat. Incredibly stupid. Unbearably addictive.