Kids, eh? Tsk. But then again, sometimes it's all Yay!
Either way, knowing what's hot and what's not on TV - and by TV we mean the world wide web - is an important part of parenting.
On those 'Tsk' days, you can lock them in a dark room with a TV and remote and tell them to get on with it. And on those 'Yay!' days you can cuddle up with them on the sofa and bond over a glowing rectangle filled with a minimum of 1920x1200 pixels.
Anyway, here's our pick of films and TV shows for your darling little genetic mutations.
A classic even among Disney classics, this, er, Disney classic is a charming antidote to the QUICK-CUT-CONSTANT-NOISE-ARRGH-SOMEBODY-SLOW-IT-DOWN nature of much modern children's TV. You all know the story: boy meets bear, they fall in love then… no, not really. It's based on the books by AA Milne and features Eeyore and Rabbit and Tigger and all the rest, while adding an annoying Gopher character for no obvious reason.
Like the books, it plays with post-modernism (seriously), so your kids probably won't understand the bit where the narrator starts talking to Pooh or where the characters walk along text taken straight from the print edition. But no matter - they'll still sit transfixed throughout, and you'll get the clever bits even if they don't.
All kids love dinosaurs, and there's no shortage of them on children's TV. So, you could leave them in hideously twee purple embrace of Barney, or you could terrify them brainless by sitting them down in front of Jurassic Park (disclaimer: don't really do this to a two-year-old).
Far better though to watch Dinosaur Train with them. It's fun, it's educational, it's packed with those all-important morals and it has a theme tune so catchy it should be a wicketkeeper. What more could you want?
Has there even been a film which has led to more awkward conversations than Bambi? Most children don't understand death - or at least they don't until they see this Disney tear-jerker. Still, they've got to learn about it sometime, and after the initial shock of the sad bit Bambi is a joyous celebration of life and friendship.
Charlie And Lola
You might hate Charlie And Lola. Hell, you will hate Charlie And Lola. We certainly do, with its impossibly middle-class setting and oh-so-groovy animation and cutesy tales about kids called Tarquin and Lotta.
But but but… for all that we also can't really hate it, because it looks amazing and it's really clever and unlike so much TV that's aimed at younger kids it's actually a decent watch for adults too. No, not in a Sopranos way, but it sure beats In The Night Garden. Really, we just hate it because we wish we'd written it.
Possibly not quite as good as the first Cars film, but that's not on Netflix so the sequel will have to do. Anyway, we're being a bit harsh because Cars 2 is still rollicking good fun, as Lighning McQueen goes all James Bond and sets out to stop the dastardly plans of the criminal gang known as the Lemons. Warning: contains (very) mild peril.
Maths gets a hard time of it on kids TV. There's no end of shows designed to teach little 'uns to read English or speak Spanish or reassamble a 1958 Chevvy engine, but little in the way of number-based fun.
Hurrah for Team Umizoomi then, with its emphasis on sums, patterns, logic, shapes and all of the other mathematics-friendly disciplines. Importantly, the educational stuff is all hidden within nonsense stories about lost baby mice and whatnot, so your kids won't actually realise they're learning anything.