Set phasers to ‘welcome’ for this alien Blu phone

Be not afeared of its shiny gold get-up

Brand unrecognised. Shields up.

Hold your fire, Captain Suspicious. However are you going to boldly go into the unknown if you don’t, every now and then, try something that isn’t familiar or sitting atop a sumptuous marketing campaign?

Further analysis required.

Blu is based in Miami, USA, but makes no bones about the fact its phones are built in China. It sells a lot of phones in the States, but is now trying Europe – first stop, UK.

The Android 6.0-running Vivo 6 has wormed its way through our defense net of impenetrable phone shops and sniffy mobile networks by encasing itself in an Amazon box. And, as a final smattering of stardust, it’s touching down on Black Friday with an instant discount on its RRP making it just £184.99 (RM1025).

Low pricepoint detected. Specify yourself.

Do you think you might be wearing your VR headset too much? It’s not even plugged in…

Wheedling detected. Specify yourself.

Alright, whatever. Whether you catch the deal or end up paying the full £239.99, you’re getting quite a lot of phone. It has a 5.5in 1080p screen, a MediaTek Helio P10 octa-core processor, 4GB RAM, 64GB storage plus a microSD card slot.

The screen is covered in Gorilla Glass, the back is covered in solid-feeling aluminium broken only by the Sony-sensored, Laser-focussed 13MP camera. Fast two amp charging of its 3130mAh battery by USB-C and, yes, it comes with a headphone socket. Our only misgiving? It’s only available in gold or rose gold. No subtle ‘Space Grey’ option for us shy guys.

Specification failed! Snark missiles loading…

Fine, HALitosis 9000. You go ahead and spend all your money on a mass market phone. Enjoy your two-year deployment orbiting Planet Moanafone while we fly, SIM-free and fancy-free, wherever we like.