Withings’ smart brush listens to your hair

Thick as thieves, that brush and your hair

A smart hairbrush? You are pulling my…

Shh. Without drawing attention to yourself, have a look around. Do you see anything you’re sure isn’t smart? There, look! Didn’t that coffee pot just wink at you?

OK, I get it. But riddle me this: what is it that the internet wants to know about my hair?

Chiefly, it wants to know what the heck you were thinking. Ha! But, quite a lot it seems. Withings, in association with L’Oreal’s Kerastase brand, has made a hairbrush that’s absolutely dripping with sensors - the better to tittle-tattle to the dark web about your hipster locks.

 

What, like how I brush? 

At the very least, yes, measured by accelerometers and gyroscopes. But the Kerastase Hair Coach also has 3-axis load sensors to judge the amount of force you’re putting through your do, as well as microphones that enable the app to establish – according to Withings – manageability, frizziness and split ends. Astonishing, eh? 

Alarming. What do I do? I don’t want this information getting out. 

We can see why. But, chill. Seeing as you apparently have not thus far spent even 500 on an analogue hair regulator, it seems unlikely that you will rush out in August and buy one of these app-connected barnet brooms for £200 (around 16,000). Should someone send you one gratis, however, be warned: it’ll be the Kerastase hair net illuminati.