Runcible smartphone looks rural, promotes peace

Constant notifications are messing up your mind, man

Not much to lichen it to

Ooh, it looks like a really harmless Eye of Sauron.

Eye of Sauron: Elvish Edition. The dwarfs prefer a swarthier smartphone; something like a Kyocera Torque. Humans, of course, are vain and all have gold iPhones. Gandalf probably has a Galaxy Note 4 with a custom magical stylus with which he can take notes on fauna gossip. “Oh, really, little Jaziekal the Jumpy? She said that, did she? Let me make a note of that.”

What about the nasty little Hobbitses?

Not big phone users, really. What with most of them either technophobic or too meaded up to work a smartphone, the Middle Earth mobile industry has kinda swerved the Shire.

The biggest circle is Snapchat, natch

Is that an analog it's resting on?

Moody Mordor edition

We should probably talk about the…

… Runcible! Yes, we should. This wooden pebble of a smartphone is not in fact designed for the fleet-footed forest folk, but it is intended for the clear-minded, squeaky-souled zen-geek-about-town. It’s the anti-smartphone, say its creators, and it will never vibrate, nor beep, nor impose itself on your day.

Sounds unhelpful. What can it do?

Oh, all of your normal smartphone things. It has 4G and Wi-Fi and NFC and Bluetooth, but it also has a round screen, particularly designed to be less suitable for viewing your Twitter feed. We know that it’ll give you directions to somewhere, in a old-school compass way. Plus, we’ve seen a clock face for it on which gradually expanding coloured circles indicate how fervent your social networks are getting. Though what you can do about it is less clear.

More pebbley than a Pebble, less wristy

Desert camouflage in the woods. Rookie.

Like ducks in a row. But not ducks.

Intriguing. Where can I take a look at this Runcible?

Nowhere, yet. Creaters Monohm have only been working on it for 10 months, so it’s not ready for selling. But rest assured, the flaming, all-seeing Eye of Stuff will be looking out for this wearable-cum-smartphone to make an appearance.