The very word brings to mind perfectly manicured fairways, polite applause, and absolutely not whacking your opponent’s ball as far from the hole as possible, like you’re partaking in a particularly aggressive game of drunken pool. But then this is Golf Blitz.
What’s it all about?
Like the race mode of spiritual ancestor Super Stickman Golf 3, this game’s all about getting to the hole first – at any cost. You have power-ups that can blast opponents out of the way. The side-on viewpoint means it’s possible to knock other balls into the drink, or take advantage of lucky collisions that get yours home first.
Also, given the game’s pedigree, you’re not strolling about St. Andrews or Cypress Point – Golf Blitz instead carves courses into rocky caves, or places them on levitating islands, sometimes unhelpfully making huge chunks of the landscape sticky or spin like a lethargic washing machine. Or both.
With four players gunning for the flag, it’s frustrating when you line up a perfect shot, only for a rival to blast you out of the way. Not that this will stop you doing the same to someone else. There’s also an element of randomness to shots. Accuracy isn’t guaranteed.
There’s a whiff of freemium, too, with in-game currencies, card packs, and a nagging feeling you’re sometimes matched with people with better player stats – much like if you had a go at a back nine and were suddenly faced with an unholy combination of Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy and Annika Sorenstam.
Still, outside of those moments when you want to hit your phone with a nine iron, it’s a whole lot of fun.