Bold design decisions don't always go to plan, but they usually get you noticed. After all, no-one's forgotten last year's glass tinsel, have they?
While those sparkling shards certainly made a festive impression, though, there are easier ways to bring a little something different to your abstract apartment.
From sculpted mice to concrete organisers, these gifts are sure to keep things chic this Christmas – and likely to result in 100% fewer hospital visits.
Flyte Nikola (£289)
All hail the David Blaine of light bulbs: this levitational shiner will dazzle family, relations and pets alike on the big day, as their sherry-sozzled brains attempt to comprehend the miracle of wireless electricity.
Unless smashed by an over-excited nephew, the bulb will last 50,000 hours – and, if they think the light’s cool, wait until they see Flyte’s floating plants.
Que Collapsible Bottle (£25)
If your giftee's a fan of aqua and collapsible kit, they'll love this spiralling silicone bottle. Once they've necked the Que's 560ml of pure refreshment, it'll twist down to half the size – perfect for pocketing until they find the next tap.
Completely leakproof, it comes in a host of colours – so matching it to their backpack should be a cinch.
Awair 2 (£149)
Where most walnut clocks are covered in dust, this one sucks it up: not a time-telling vacuum, Awair pairs form and function by measuring the levels of CO2, harmful chemicals and dust particules in the air.
Sure, your loved ones might take it as a not-so-subtle dig at their domestic hygiene but, give it a week, and you can bet they'll be itching to improve their Awair score. Particularly if they're itching from dust mites.
Logitech MX Vertical (£93)
Remember when you melted that mouse in an effort to be avant-garde? This ergonomic number for Logitech is much like that, only better for your wrist and a lot less toxic.
Developed to minimise muscle strain and keep your hand at the ideal angle – 57 degrees, in case you were wondering – it's the perfect partner for your palm and makes a darling desktop sculpture when not in use.
Bee Brick (£28)
Not a funky piece of cheese, this holey block both upgrades your garden and does a solid for solitary bees. Constructed in Cornwall almost entirely with waste material from the China Clay industry, build one into a wall or stick it by a bench – either way, it'll give the little buzzers a safe space in spring and summer.
For the uninitiated, solitary bees are the non-aggressive kind, which means they're safe for little-ones to watch with wonder, before dressing up in sympathy and buzzing around the garden.
Punkt MP02 (£295)
Remember when phones were exactly that? You know, devices for calling people? Punkt does, which is why its latest pared-back blower ditches always-on notifications in favour of selective connectivity and back-to-basics functionality.
Its big buttons and clear, monochrome screen make it a boon for calls and texts, while 4G tethering lets you pair with your laptop whenever you need to dip into your emails. Nice in the hand and built to last, it's like that old-school Nokia in your drawer – only much, much nicer.
Caran d'Ache 849 Nespresso Pen (£40)
Concerned about the carbon footprint of your capsule habit? Ease your caffeine guilt with this ballpoint pen from the fine and fancy sorts at Caran D'Ache: a limited-edition aluminium scribbler, it's crafted from recycled Nespresso pods.
Alas, it uses regular ink rather than shooting a jet of coffee from its nib – which would arguably be more useful in those day-long meetings – but with a capacity good for 600 pages of A4, it's the perfect way to espresso yourself in the office.