Don’t talk to me until I have my coffee.
OK, you can talk to me now. What the Smeg are these?
A coffee machine and a citrus juicer, obviously – the two latest small kitchen appliances from the iconic Italian fridge-maker.
Ah, right: so in order to indulge my evil caffeine addiction unfettered by guilt, I can whip myself up a homemade hipster Um Bongo afterwards? And in very fine style, no less.
Precisely. Your cleansing morning juice is delivered by the CJF01 juicer, which comes in red, cream, black, blue, green or pink, and is made from high-end materials like die-cast aluminium, chrome and Tritan plastic. Then your ECF01 espresso machine produces a steam-powered cup of joe that’ll have you bouncing off the walls. (The coffee maker is not available in green or pink. Perhaps those calming hues counteracts the caffeine. Smeg doesn't say.)
And how Instagrammable are they?
Was that a rhetorical question? Because just look at them! You’re going to get so many Likes when you post a snap of your perfectly composed cappuccino or cool glass of OJ with either of them in the background.
And, depending on the type of person you are, perhaps that alone is worth the hefty asking prices: £100 for the juicer and £280 for the coffee machine, from Smeg.
Oof. Maybe I'll stick to my Nescafé and Del Monte.
Hey, nobody said a social media-friendly kitchen was a cheap kitchen.