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B&W’s flagship headphones are deliciously dissident

Throw their jack in the muthaflippin’ air, wave it about like they just don’t care

That side panel is a bit Time Tunnel.

Fittingly, too, as these headphones come with neither wireless tech nor a Lightning cable. They are literally kicking it like its 2016 – remember, when phones had a 3.5mm headphone socket?

Uh, it is still 2016. And my phone still takes a jack.

Behold the audiosaurus! Earmarked for extinction since early-2016. In hindsight, a headphone socket is such an ugly idea: a gaping hole on the top of your phone, wilfully ingressing all sorts of water and particles and cably invaders. Yuck. We’re glad they’re gone. Shame for these headphones though.

They’re not gone! And why are we looking at these headphones, then, if they’re so outmoded?

Because they’re gorgeous, darling. Bowers & Wilkins headphones (and hi-fi speakers) have always been special, but these are the new, top-of-the-range £700 P9 Signature. They’re a study in aluminium and textured leather and memory foam earpieces. Bigger than the existing B&W P5 or P7 models, both in stature and engineering, these should sound marvellous. Well, they would do if we had any way of plugging them in.

Stop this. I can clearly see in your notes “Lightning cable coming in early 2017”.

Oh, reading now, is it? You want to be careful reading all over the place. But OK, yes, you’ve defused our little scandal. Come the Year of the Rooster, B&W will be selling a Lightning cable for the P9 Signature and sending out a free one to exisiting owners. Though, we bet you a headphone jack septum piercing that Bowers will soon follow this up with a Bluetooth version – as it did with the P5 Wireless and P7 Wireless.

Buy the B&W P9 Signature here