The Stuff team is far from immune from the effects of over-indulgence, and Christmas took its toll on our waistlines just as much as it did everyone else's.
Naturally, we're turning to tech to help us get trim. Here are the gadgets that four of our would-be athletes have picked.
And if you're after even more tips and gadget recommendations to help in your quest to upgrade yourself, check out the full Stuff Fitness Special.
Adidas ACE 16+ TKRZ (£115)
Eric Cantona was just 30 years old when he retired from professional football. I’m 31, so it’s probably too late for me to forge a career in top-flight football, but as the face of Kronenbourg 1664 showed by captaining the French beach team after he’d waved goodbye to Old Trafford, there’s more to the beautiful game than the Premier League.
My five-a-side career has been patchy at best, but rather than working out exactly what needs to be done I’m going to do a Real Madrid and just throw loads of money at the problem.
Adidas’s ACE 16+ TKRZ are meant for the kind of players who can control the ball as if it’s attached to them with fishing line – the ones who take as much joy from pannas (nutmegs to those of us whose footballing education took place in the playground) as they do from scoring goals. So not me, then. But that’s why these boots have got a special skin and outsole designed to help improve your touch and close control.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just throw some more money at it.
Wahoo Kickr Snap (£500)
The hardest thing about making fitness-based New Year’s resolutions is that most people will expect me to try to keep them at least for January, which is officially the most miserable month of the year.
So I could write about how I’ll get a new bike in an attempt to encourage me to ride to work more, but you and I both know it’d spend more time in the shed than out on the road. Come on, have you seen it out there?
Instead, I’m planning to invest in Wahoo’s Kickr Snap, a smart turbo trainer to slot the back wheel of my existing steed into, so I’ll be able to ride in the relative comfort of my spare room. It’s an investment and it won’t get me to the office, but it is compatible with an amazing app called Zwift, which will run on my MacBook and control the resistance of the back wheel. More importantly, it turns each session into an online bike race against other Zwift users. And unlike real life, I can rage-quit from sprints against them without having a tantrum in the middle of the high street.
Umoro One Shaker Bottle (£20)
I love playing sport, I really do – but ever since I got my first desk job I’ve become far too content spending 90% of my waking hours settled lazily on my posterior. This lack of activity, combined with a metabolism that’d make any supermodel envious, has meant that trying to play tennis at what used to be ‘my level’ now feels like trying to swat incoming bullets armed with a spatula.
My new gym membership, combined with a fear of an early demise for my fledgling sporting career, means I’m on the lookout for anything to help me get a bit bigger. And the Umoro One is that product.
This stylish-looking liquids container holds a full pint (don’t even think about it) as well as 50g of protein, creatine, oats or whatever soluble substance suits you – but that part’s in the lid. This means it’s all kept separate until the very moment you need it – click the button to release the little mixer, shake and consume. Adonis-like physique, here I come.
Sensoria Fitness Socks ($200 starter pack)
I thought I’d cracked this running lark. During my time as a bipedal human I’ve plodded through several triathlons and Hellrunners with barely a creak. But six months ago my Achilles started flashing up ‘error’ messages and I was told I needed to re-learn how to run. That’s quite a big firmware upgrade for a 35-year-old brain. So I’m turning to these supersocks for help.
My biomechanical bother is that I’m a ‘heel-striker’. This subjects my Achilles to a minor earthquake with each stride, so I need to change to a smoother ‘mid-foot’ landing. How can socks help? The Sensorias contain little pressure sensors that monitor which part of your foot contacts the ground first. They then convert this data into a foot ‘heat map’ and, thanks to a Bluetooth anklet, send this info to your smartphone for real-time running feedback.
With the app also offering cadence monitoring and a metronome to keep my stride on track, these could be the keys to my new gait. Now I just need to convince my brain it’s a good idea.