Ah, the discordant cacophony of Christmas: bells jingled, basters squelched, baubles smashed. It's enough to make you think the whole thing's an extended exercise in avant garde expressionism.
If the sweet sounds of Yuletide turn your frustration up to 11, try one of these pitch-perfect gifts, sure to retune your festive spirit.
From connected pedals to DIY synths, there's something here to please every kind of music maker – whether you're working on a sick winter riff or a dubstep remix of the Royal Christmas Message.
Stylophone Gen X-1 (£60)
Put down that paperclip and unclip the 9V battery from the radiator: for scratchy synth sounds straight out of the '60s, it's this re-imagined Stylophone you need.
Still an analogue, stylus-based noise-maker just like the original, this latest edition packs filters, oscillation effects and even a delay function. Which is more than can be said of your radiator.
Roli Beatmaker Kit (£250)
This postcard-sized synth is in fact two bits of kit in one: a touch-sensitive surface that can be used for everything from finger drumming to electronic melodies and a looper that lets you build up layers of sound to create an entire track with a single interface.
Small enough to stuff in your DJ satchel, use the light-up Beatmaker Kit to create cracking tracks whenever the moment takes you, before pairing it with your laptop to master your music with the bundled software. Which beats lugging that massive MIDI keyboard around.
IK Multimedia iRig Acoustic Stage (£81)
Reckon you're the next Ed Sheeran? Even with a killer track and a ginger do, you still need to nail your live setup before you stand a chance of duetting with Beyoncé.
Do away with scratchy sound and clip this digital mic to your acoustic for awesome audio in an instant: stick it on the edge of your guitar's sound hole, connect it to the strap-mounted module and strum away for natural wireless sounds without any of the fiddling.
Who run the world? You – well, the open mic night, anyway.
Exploding Shed Microphonic Soundbox (€229)
Remember when you went all experimental on your second album, rubbing sandpaper across your amp in an anti-establishment rant against popular music? A valiant protest, but one that's pretty tricky to record for radio.
Channel your rage in a more label-friendly way with the Microphonic Soundbox: equipped with a pair of internal microphones and pre-amps, it packs springs, rods, carbon strips and, yes, sandpaper – all for the cause of getting scratchy, bouncy screeches onto your next release.
Teenage Engineering PO-35 (£85)
Prodding random buttons on your calculator will result in either nonsense equations or funny words (if you turn it upside down).
Prod random buttons on this calculator-like mini-synth, on the other hand, and there's a good chance you'll accidentally sample your own voice, sequence it and create something lo-fi and fantastic for your next EP – with lyrics along the lines of, "how the vexing heck do you get a square root on this thing?"
Roadie 2 (£119)
Back in the day, the mark of a good guitarist was whether they had someone in their employment specifically to tune their guitar. Even if it was their mate Jeff.
Nowadays, your average six-string can tune itself – great if you've got a new one, not so great if you're still rocking your old strummer from the days of Jeff.
Thankfully, Roadie bridges that gap: a handheld gadget that auto-tunes each string in turn, it works with electrics and acoustics, and the latest version even packs a handy screen. Which you can't say of Jeff, now or back in '74.
Dato Duo (£294)
Daft and Punk. Depeche and Mode. Massive and Attack. All great electronic duos, all evidence that music is better made in pairs.
Try it yourself with the Dato Duo. A DIY-chic synth to be shared, one side packs a keyboard and sequencer, the other oscillators and effects – so it works best when you play with a pal.
Poke, tweak, experiment: it's not about making music but having fun with friends, relatives and band-mates you'll one day hate.
