"Wow, I really love feeling sweat burn my eyes, the sting of a renegade wasp, and stomach cramps from pollen-induced sneezing fits,” said no one ever.
Cutting the grass in the summer is a horrible experience. By the time you're done, you're soaked through, covered in itchy grass cuttings and more irritable than Jeremy Clarkson at a caravan convention.
Unless, of course, you've got a gloriously helpful little robot to do all the work for you. Honda's Miimo robotic lawn mower doesn't have hayfever, it can't sweat, and its armour is impenetrable to the stings and bites of all insects.
So, while it's busy giving your garden the five-star hairdresser treatment, you might as well do something fun. And there's nothing better to escape the sun than settling down in a cool dark cinema and treating your eyes to some summer blockbusters. Here's our top five picks:
The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Okay, so April isn't technically a summer blockbuster, but there's no way we're not including one of the biggest films this year. Marvel's pick-n-mix gang of squabbling look-at-me-I'm-better-than-you-and-oh-so-muscly superheroes return for another round, and this time they're squaring up against the titular Ultron, an artificial intelligence birthed by Tony Stark. Expect action, with a capital A.
Out 24 April
The original Jurassic Park gave us recurring nightmares about T. Rex's suddenly thundering in through our walls, and stalking velociraptors. This one time the raptors actually talked to us, and we bartered for our lives by offering a toolbox, which they took, letting us live to fight another day. No, we're not joking.
Anyway, we digress. Instead of a big scary T.Rex, this time our heroes (led by Hollywood's latest hunk, Chris Pratt), have to face a hybrid dinosaur created in a lab by scientists who are clearly absolute idiots and should know much better. Seriously, have they not seen Jurassic Park before?. We can’t wait for their next big idea, which is obviously robot dinosaurs. In space. With lasers. On ice.
Out 12 June
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend
Netflix makes more than just TV shows you know. Take The Green Legend – it's the streaming giant's own-brand sequel to Ang Lee’s quadruple Oscar-winning flick that’ll launch simultaneously on Netflix and in IMAX cinemas. The martial arts scenes are choreographed by the fellow who worked on both Kill Bill films, so you can expect more beautifully shot, balletic beat-’em-up action. Just don't try any of it at home. You can't really ran across treetops. We've tried.
Out 28 August
Edgar Wright might have abandoned this ship, but Ant-Man has continued his six-legged trek to the big screen regardless. Paul Rudd plays the superhero that can shrink in size but multiply in strength, a power bestowed on him by the original Ant-Man, Dr Hank Pym (played by Michael Douglas).
Is it bad that the first thing we'd do with these powers is to find the most decadent doughnut you can legally buy, before shrinking down going to town on it when it's the size of a house? That's not selfish. Is it?
Out 17 July
The title looks like a typo and the trailer’s packed with cringeworthy lines delivered by a man who now looks like he’s made from a tan leather sofa. But Genisys could be the film that saves the Terminator franchise from extinction. If it doesn’t succeed, we’ll have to send someone back to wipe out everything after T2.
If you're still not convinced, let's break this down for you. This is a new Terminator film, with Arnie. Of course you're going to see it.
Out 3 July