I want the iPhone 17 Air to slim down the iPhone – not dumb it down

Apple fans assemble! On 9 September, Apple’s annual iPhone ritual will find the company unleashing new smartphones upon the world. We’ll get the usual vanilla, Pro and Pro Max iPhone varieties. But Apple has lobbed the Plus into the trash, because not enough people bought one. Instead, unless every single Apple rumour site is about to have all the eggs, ever, on their collective faces, the shiny newcomer will be the iPhone 17 Air. All of which makes me wonder what ‘Air’ even means today.

Once upon a time, it was Apple code for astonishingly thin and light. Remember when Steve Jobs famously pulled the very first MacBook Air out of an envelope? The crowd went bonkers. As did the rest of the industry, figuring out how to craft non-Apple laptops you could barely see side-on. Later, we got the iPad Air too, which wafted in alongside iOS 7’s wafer-thin fonts, making prior iPads look decidedly chonky by comparison.

More recently, that’s all changed. Notably, the latest iPad Air is thicker than the iPad Pro. I suppose ‘iPad Midrange’ doesn’t have the same ring to it. As for the iPhone, Apple never slapped the Air name on a blower – until now.

Pinky? Swear

Play

The idea of an iPhone 17 Air does appeal to me, though, for one simple reason: weight. Or rather, the lack of it. I don’t care if Apple shaves a couple of millimetres off a device’s depth – it’s going in a case or my pocket anyway. But a lighter phone is something I can get behind, and that my tiniest of fingers would wholeheartedly cheer on, if only they had mouths.

All this is down to a terrible habit I developed of balancing smartphones on my little fingers. Said digits aren’t thrilled about that – especially with Plus and Pro Max phones – and make their displeasure known via ACTUAL PAIN, before teaming up with my ongoing RSI, which flares up to teach me a lesson. One that I never learn.

Apparently, it’s not just me. A quick search online reveals papers on this subject with fancy titles like Prevalence Of Smartphone Pinky Syndrome In A Population Of Smartphone Addicted Collegiate Individuals and An Investigation On The Effect Of Smartphone Use On Morphological And Radiological Changes Of The Fifth Finger. I’ve no idea how credible they are – how well they’re sciencing the science. But the fact anyone in academia is studying smartphone-induced pinky pain means it’s clearly A Thing. 

A slim chance

A few years back, I thought the iPhone mini was my salvation. It was disarmingly light. My pinkies were impressed. Alas, Apple’s finance team was not, and the mini was unceremoniously axed due to poor sales. To be fair, non-pinky bits of me were fine with that, having over time felt hemmed in by the cramped display, missing cameras, and battery life that made me nervous the moment I left the house.

The iPhone 17 Air feels like the same experiment, only flattened with a rolling pin. Rumours suggest it’ll weigh about the same as the mini but have a Plus-sized screen. Even so, it’ll still be the compromise iPhone, with fewer cameras and weaker battery life. 

Which isn’t to say I’m not glad Apple continues to try new things with the ‘other’ iPhone slot. Maybe its thinnovation will one day pay off with an iPhone Bendy. But for now, the Air looks set to be a mash-up of Apple’s worst habits: chasing thinness, cutting features, and charging a premium for the privilege. Maybe there’s an audience for that. But it’s probably not me. Unless Apple has more surprises than “this iPhone is the thinnest iPhone we’ve ever thinned”, it’s all going to feel like iPhone Hot Air to me.

• How Apple could convince me to spend $2000 on an iPhone Fold