Jaguar's I-Pace is an all-electric SUV, done proper

It’s a Tom Hiddleston to Tesla’s Tony Stark

What about the BMW i8? Cristoph Waltz?

Sad trombone: Cristoph is only half German. And, the BMW i8 is a hybrid, so only half electric. A common misconception.

You’re a common misconception.

Ooh, someone’s a bit snappy. You need some downtime in the I-Pace’s classy cabin. The design dons down at Jaguar were given a reasonably blanche carte on which to draw up the I-Pace, so they took advantage of the lack of engine and the lack of transmission tunnel to draw up a car with stubby ends, a long wheelbase and lots of interior space. What’s more, they bravely resisted the allure of gullwing doors, unlike main rival, the Tesla Model X.  

People love those gullwing doors.

People love the idea of gullwing doors, as part of a larger fantasy that involves them cruising Vermont with a beautiful wife and a six-figure lifestyle. Pulling up outside Ali’s Lucky Fried Chickens on a sandy night in Sharjah, those attention-attracting doors don’t seem quite so wise.

Ain't no hoodlums on scooters keeping up with you, though, if push came to shove off.

Likewise in the I-Pace. Electric motors front and rear drive all four wheels, to the tune of 400bhp and 700nm of torque. Exact specs have yet to be decided, but we expect its acceleration to be a fulsome fwap in the face with a cold velvet glove. Technically speaking. And range, apparently, will be 220 miles-odd. Which just happens to be the distance between here and the golf club, several times over.

“Exact specs”, huh? Is this not just a concept, then?

Not according to Jaguar, who are billing this as a preview of the actual car to be launched in winter 2017, for delivery in 2018. Seems possible, even if some elements seem a little fanciful, particularly inside. There’s a Currys Megastore of big screens scattered about, and multi-function capacitive buttons on the steering wheel that sound, frankly, a bit nightmarish.

Not to mention direct internet access to some kind of music streaming service called 'Spotify', which sounds like the kind of thing no business-minded artists or labels would want to be anywhere near.

Well, Jag's got a year to sort all that stuff out.

And you can bet that it will, because it will want you to pay the big money. So, headlines: an F-Pace-sized all-electric sports SUV with bags of space. It’ll challenge Tesla by all British and brassy, and beat Jaguar's sister company Range Rover to the battery-powered market. We are, to use a quintessential Britishism, stoked.