Withings’ smart brush listens to your hair

Thick as thieves, that brush and your hair

A smart hairbrush? You are pulling my…

Shh. Without drawing attention to yourself, have a look around. Do you see anything you’re sure isn’t smart? There, look! Didn’t that coffee pot just wink at you?

OK, I get it. But riddle me this: what is it that the internet wants to know about my hair?

Chiefly, it wants to know what the heck you were thinking. Ha! But, quite a lot it seems. Withings, in association with L’Oreal’s Kerastase brand, has made a hairbrush that’s absolutely dripping with sensors - the better to tittle-tattle to the dark web about your hipster locks.

 

What, like how I brush? 

At the very least, yes, measured by accelerometers and gyroscopes. But the Kerastase Hair Coach also has 3-axis load sensors to judge the amount of force you’re putting through your do, as well as microphones that enable the app to establish – according to Withings – manageability, frizziness and split ends. Astonishing, eh? 

Alarming. What do I do? I don’t want this information getting out. 

We can see why. But, chill. Seeing as you apparently have not thus far spent even S$10 on an analogue hair regulator, it seems unlikely that you will rush out in August and buy one of these app-connected barnet brooms for £200 (S$355). Should someone send you one gratis, however, be warned: it’ll be the Kerastase hair net illuminati.