Dyson’s V11 Outsize makes big messes look minor

Everything’s bigger in America: the cars, the food, the shopping centres, and even the morons in charge (although not for much longer). That probably explains why Dyson’s V11 Outsize (£649.99) has been available across the pond for a while now, but with Joe Biden arriving tomorrow to clear up Trump’s mess, the jumbo handheld hoover can now use its 25% wider cleaning head and 150% bigger bin to suck up some of the rubbish over here too. With 18 cyclones and a powerful Hyperdymium motor that spins at 125,000rpm, it generates 20% more suction than the V10 but can still keep on sucking for up to 60 minutes before it conks out and needs recharging. It’s got enough oomph to capture 99.97% of particles as small as 0.3 microns (that’s even smaller than the outgoing president’s brain), plus the Dynamic Load Sensor will automatically adjust the power depending on what kind of floor you’re using it on. There’s also an onboard LCD screen that will tell you how much battery life is left, alert you if the filter’s not connected properly or needs replacing, and tell you how to clear any blockages. Now if only they’d make one big enough to suck up some of our top-level morons.