I always wanted a full-size arcade machine, but this is even better

If I happened to be rich, live in a mansion and have an inordinate amount of faffing time, I’d own row upon row of classic arcade machines. Because although I grew up in the halcyon age of home micros, much of my gaming nostalgia is tied to hulking great cabinets with blinking lights and bespoke controls. (Less so the sticky carpets and smoke-filled rooms of the arcades those machines lurked in.) Sadly, arcades and arcade machines are now mostly gone. Also sadly, I am not rich nor blessed with infinite space and time, and so alternatives will have to do. Enter: the Evercade Alpha Taito Bartop Arcade.

This isn’t my first home arcade. Or even the first Evercade Alpha I’ve had in the house. But this particular home arcade machine quickly catapulted itself to the top of my list. Why? Reasons. I loved my Picade but it was all a bit yo-ho-ho and had a distinctly homemade aesthetic. I still adore my Quarter Arcade cabs, especially the Space Invaders one with its amazing reproduction of the Pepper’s ghost effect. But once you stray beyond Pac-Man and Space Invaders, those units ultimately demand more perfect eyesight than I now have and a willingness to get uncomfortably cosy with anyone playing alongside you.

“Now it is the beginning of a fantastic story!”

Which is a pity, because my favourite arcade game ever – Bubble Bobble – packs a punch in single-player but is also pure two-player joy. The game crams in 100 levels of single-screen platforming bliss. Two little dinosaurs bound about, trap enemies in bubbles they spit out, blow up said bubbles to horribly murder their enemies, and then eat their remains that have magically turned into tasty fruit and sweets. Because 1980s arcade game logic.

But I learned only a few years ago that Bubble Bobble, despite all its amazingness, never had its own dedicated cabinet. Instead, it was shoved inside of generic Taito units with a bit of artwork slapped on. So a true original isn’t something I can ever own. Fortunately, then, Evercade’s latest Alpha exists – and it takes things in a very different direction from a 1980s cab that’s arguably better anyway.

It follows the same blueprint as the two Capcom Alphas. This means a bartop arcade machine with superb controls, a bright display and properly boomy speakers. There’s USB-A so a second player can plug in a controller. And if you get fed up with the built-in games, you can plug in one of dozens of carts from the Evercade library.

Level up!

Despite having reviewed the Mega Man Alpha, this Taito machine feels like a different beast. It’s brighter and cheerier. Tasteful Taito strips frame the action rather than shouting over it like Capcom’s character parade. And alongside Bubble Bobble, the included lineup is stacked with stuff that matters.

Sure, you won’t linger on The Fairyland Story (aka proto-Bubble Bobble designed by a sadist). But The NewZealand Story? Elevator Action? Rastan? Space Invaders? Puzzle Bobble? All classics to me, hence having a big, stupid grin plastered across my face while playing. Doubly so when I slotted in carts like Indie Heroes 3 and Indie Heroes 4 that feature, respectively, Donut Dodo and Murtop, two masterful 1980s arcade titles that never were.

I’d bump up the original review score to a 5 if Stuff editor Dan “no, you can’t review the Alpha a second time, Craig” Grabham would let me. Which you might argue is personal nostalgia clouding objectivity when it comes to critiquing hardware that brings back classic games from the past. To which I say: pfft! Because it clearly just proves, without any shadow of a doubt, that Bubble Bobble really was the best arcade game ever. And now it lives on my desk. Perfect.

Evercade Alpha Taito Bartop Arcade (aka Evercade Alpha BUBBLE BOBBLE IS THE BEST edition) is available now, priced $259.99/£199.99. A sample was sent for this column, which subsequently reduced the writer’s productivity by approx. 372.5%. It’s a wonder anything got written at all, frankly.

• Related: The Neo Geo Super Pocket finally gives me the console I could never afford as a kid

Craig Grannell Contributor

About

I’m a regular contributor to Stuff magazine and Stuff.tv, covering apps, games, Apple kit, Android, Lego, retro gaming and other interesting oddities. I also pen opinion pieces when the editor lets me, getting all serious about accessibility and predicting when sentient AI smart cookware will take over the world, in a terrifying mix of Bake Off and Terminator.

Areas of expertise

Mobile apps and games, Macs, iOS and tvOS devices, Android, retro games, crowdfunding, design, how to fight off an enraged smart saucepan with a massive stick.