Rewind your brains to 2012 and it's highly likely you shot molten hot jets of tea from your nostrils when you first read that Nissan was transplanting the twin-turbocharged 3.8-litre V6 from the GTR into its family-friendly Juke SUV.

The Frankenstein machine was dubbed the Juke-R and it was a jet-black hunk of mayhem, rocketing from 0-62mph in 3.0 seconds and leaving wealthy sheikhs willing to part with ludicrous sums of money in its wake.

But it wasn't for sale. It was merely an engineering exercise to show the world that Nissan could basically do what the hell it wanted and still leave punters open-mouthed in awe. Oh, and it was a nice halo product to advertise the entirely more sensible Juke Nismo model.

Now, of course, Nissan’s done it again, with the Juke being made even more ridiculous than the original thanks to it hosting the engine, drivetrain and gearbox from the latest version of the GTR. And this one you can actually buy. Well, you can’t, but some very rich people can.

Face-melting power

The V6 powerplant now develops a frankly insane 592bhp and the additional carbon-fibre body panels help to keep weight down. The result is that it now ducks under 3 seconds for the 0-62mph dash, has a top speed of over 200mph and grips the tarmac like a thing possessed.

Styling wise, it’s had a bunch of updates so that it’s more in line with the current generation Juke (yours for just £13,930 from all good Nissan retailers) and that means swankier front lamps and a new bonnet.

But let's be honest, it looks nothing like the bubbly SUV you see on suburban driveways across the land. This monster packs enormous alloy wheels, visible Brembo brake calipers, carbon-fibre sills and rear exhaust pipes that look like anti-aircraft guns.

It also costs a little bit more. Around £486,070 more, in fact. A Nissan spokesperson said that the Juke-R still wasn't officially on sale but it would manufacture the odd one for those with pockets deep enough.


Low on comfort, high on gadgets

Time to climb inside, and first off it's worth mentioning that the interior is nothing like the little SUV you know and possibly love. This thing has had its innards ripped out and replaced with a roll cage and two racing bucket seats at the front.

There are four-point harnesses for the pilot and brave passenger, while the information screens from the GTR replace the usual touch-screen entertainment system. 

These Gran Turismo-inspired digital dials give readouts of everything from oil pressure to turbo boost and even a G-Force meter. It's probably best not to pay too much attention to these, though, because the whole business of driving takes up every ounce of concentration one possesses.

"Like being kicked in the kidneys"

Grab the weighty lever that controls the six-speed auto gearbox, thunk it down into 'Drive', give it some revs and await the acceleration that feels like being kicked in the kidneys by a pair of steel-toe boots.

The four-wheel-drive powertrain simply devours the tarmac and the Juke-R 2.0 rockets towards the horizon with an unrelenting urgency, accompanied by the soundtrack of a whooshing turbocharger and snarling exhaust note.

Every twist and turn on this course in the middle of the French Alps is dispatched with ease, while the levels of grip are enough to produce serious amounts of cornering G-Force. It sort of hurts your insides.

Nissan Juke-R 2.0 - The Early Verdict

The Alcantara steering wheel, sparse interior and cosseting bucket seats make it feel like a thoroughbred race car, while the enormous roll cage would make it a complete nightmare to parallel park.

For that reason, the Juke-R 2.0 isn't currently road legal, so I have absolutely no idea how it handles on the daily commute. I suspect the ride is stupidly firm, the lack of rear seats proves a pain over time and fumbling with a four-point harness at the petrol station will be deeply embarrassing.

Regardless, it's an absolute brute and even if the pumped-up Batmobile styling doesn't win you over, the sheer face-melting performance certainly will.