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Bond villains are queuing up for this angular hydrofoil

Memo to Q Branch: time to retire the hover-gondola?

That thing looks like a devilish dodgem car.

It basically is. If you swap the wheels for foils and the electro-stick for an electro-outboard. And put it on water. Anyway, the Q2S Limited Edition is a seriously cool bit of kit. Sibling of the Q2S, this floater was designed by Slovenian company Quadrofoil as a fast future for aqua transport.

Faster than my paddleboard?

It’ll top 40km/h, courtesy of a 5.5kW electric motor – which would require some seriously strong arms to beat just using a paddle. Securely buoyant at rest, it rises up onto its foils at  12km/h, reducing drag and cutting through the chop like Sweeney Todd. There’s seating for two, so you’ll be able to show off your skills to your henchman/hostage/evil love interest.

It’s got whopping great holes in the side. Won’t I get my Sean Connery suit soaking wet?

There might be a bit of spray, yes – but it’s all in the name of weight reduction. Composite materials mean the modular hull is seriously lightweight, with the whole craft hitting the scales at just 335kg. The benefit? Properly fun maneuverability – especially combined with the ability to turn using all four foils. Think: Caterham on water.

I like my water crossings like my cookies: big. How far can this thing go?

Well, it runs on two lithium-ion batteries (rechargable using a run-of-the-mill 110V or 220V socket) which, in optimum conditions, will see you buzzing about for a solid 2 hours – or around 100km. More than enough time for a good Monaco harbour chase montage. Plus, no petrol means no direct emissions – and an operating cost of just €1 per hour. Cheaper than that classic Riva speedboat you normally lose fights in.

So I can take it out to sea?

If you’re feeling dangerous, yes, though a decent swell might soon see you covered in salty spray. We’d be up for trying to get it across the Channel, if only Quadrofoil would lend us one to try.

Alright, sign me up.

Ah, sorry. True villains have beaten you to it. Only 100 units of the Q2S Limited Edition were made available for purchase – and they’ve all sold, even before they’ve been built. You can order a standard edition Q2S Electric, though, and it’ll be yours in summer 2017 – for the tasty sum of €30,000.