I don’t know where to start with this one. Normally we laugh about Bluetooth speakers all looking identical - but, having laid eyes on Kalium’s Sound Heroes (from US$100), I’m craving the certainty and mediocre comfort of a miscellaneous black box. Styled as the lesser-known hero Ad'OM (nope, me neither), this 42cm-tall noise box is a truly multi-talented, erm, thing: besides kicking out 20W of audio power, it does quintuple duty as a Wi-Fi extender, wireless phone charger, ambient lamp and - you guessed it - smoke machine. Opt for the premium package and you’ll get a 72cm companion with 60W of power. Just because.