Petrolheads are a pain. Always leaving tyre-tracks wherever they go, making engine sounds in the shower and watching Top Gear on repeat. No? Just us, then.
Still, those with a disposition towards all things fast and four-wheeled can be notoriously tricky to buy for. Would they make more use than nuisance from that replica McLaren? Who'll end up washing their fuel-infused overall set? Worry not: we've put together a proverbial garage-load of gifts to make a car lover go vroom on the big day.
Lego Ferrari F40 (£70)
Few four-wheeled speed machines are as distinctively-styled as the Fezza F40: as mid-engined Maranello monsters go, it’s decidedly 90s and all the better for it. At least, that was, until Lego made a version.
Made up of more than 1000 blocky bits - most of which are in trademark racing red - this is just about the next-best-thing to a real life Italian prancing horse, complete with brick-built V8.
GoPro Hero Session (£160)
Ken Block you're not - but at least when you bin the Astra into the garden wall you'll have caught it all on camera.
GoPro might have trimmed its action cam line-up down to just three models, but the Session remains an inexpensive option for would-be YouTube sensations. Mount it to your dash and the one-button interface means your motoring mishaps will never be missed again.
T-Lab Pista Veloce t-shirt (£27)
Little says petrol head more than a can of oil and a gimbal wrench. Unfortunately, those same objects also scream psychopath.
Play it safe with some new threads from T-Lab, instead. Home to a multitude of motoring-related t-shirts, this Monza-inspired masterpiece will be a welcome treat for any secret speed demon. Tastefully printed in the colours of the Italian flag, it’s subtle enough to elude the uninitiated yet sufficiently stylish to make your motoring mate some new Tifosi friends.
Yeti Glove Ice Scraper (£5.95)
Chances are, the abominable snowman doesn’t have much trouble with ice on his windscreen, what with living in a cave. And being a mythical creature.
But his big, fictional paws would surely make good ice scrapers. Slip a hand inside this furry mitten - complete with built-in anti-ice blade - and you'll have the glass clear in less time than it takes to say, "Oh, cripes! He is real after ahhhhhh..."
Porsche sounds (€50)
Haven’t got the readies to park a 550 Spyder on the porch of your pal? Give them the next best thing with this Porsche Sounds compendium.
Illustrated with stunning snaps of Porsches through the years, the real music to your motor-head’s ears will be the companion CD. Packed with original engine sounds as sweet as a vintage V8, it’s a one way ticket to highly-tuned audio heaven.