Saved by the Bell commemorative plates? Take my money!
Easy there Mr. 90s. These are actually the latest Bluetooth speakers from the folks at Ultimate Ears, though you could eat off them if you really wanted to.
Like the rest of the company’s roster, the new UE Roll is waterproof, and can handle swimming in one metre of water for 30 minutes.
Speakers? Are you sure?
Well we’ve handled them in person and blasted out some tunes, so unless someone spiked our croissants, yes, we’re pretty sure they’re speakers.
You can beam your music wirelessly for nine hours within a generous 20ft range, or hook up an old school Aux cable if you prefer, and an accompanying app lets you chain link multiple UE speakers for bigger sound.
The app also lets you adjust the equaliser settings, and even set an alarm. The Roll is clever enough to store a song on its internal memory too, so that even if your phone dies or disconnects, the alarm will still wake you up from your deep slumber. Clever eh?
Yes. But I’m more interested in the sound quality.
It obviously can’t match the punch of its larger UE Boom and Megaboom siblings, but don’t let its stature fool you - it’s loud enough to fill a room with crisp, clear notes, and even does a decent job at the bassy low end too. Just don’t expect it to shatter your ribs when a sick Skrillex drop… drops.
What’s that thing on the back?
That’s a bungee cord for hanging the Roll on hooks, tree trunks, rearview mirrors, and anything else you fancy. It can also be used to tie the speaker to a bike, a bag or, apparently, your bikini bottoms.
Does it come in a colour that won’t give my granny a seizure?
It sure does. If zany patterns aren’t your thing then there are respectable black, purple and blue options to choose from.
The Roll is available from today for £100, so you’d best get your Xtreme to the Maxx playlist sorted pronto.