Hey kids, look at that. That's a record player. Do you know what it does? It plays 'vine eels', and they were all the rage back when jeans had more flares than an emergency survival kit.
TEAC's newly announced 70's-inspired model above is unassumingly called the LP-P1000, and it's packing a rather modern twist – Bluetooth.
That's right, you can wirelessly pump music out of its pair of 25W speakers from your smartphone or tablet, when you're not too busy using its input jack, playing CDs, or of course, dusting off your old vinyls and taking a trip down auditory memory lane.
An AM/FM tuner is also available for when you want to listen to Miley Cyrus warble on about something or other, before you go back to hugging your Velvet Underground LP, vowing never to make such a foolish mistake ever again.
It'll be available in a cherry or black woodgrain finish in mide December for £450.