The Contour Roam3: it's not a GoPro

Shaped like a gun, but it's the price that'll make you jump
Contour Roam3

That ain’t no GoPro.Oh, for Pete’s sake. “GoPro this, GoPro that. You wanna get a GoPro, mate. Kevin Block uses GoPro.” It’s so boring when decent product design meets popular consensus and before you know it, people are word-of-mouthing all over the shop and, boom, everybody’s got a GoPro. And no other action camera can get a look in. Not even Contour, which used to be popular then disappeared off the market and now is back. Look at the iPhone, for example.

What about the iPhone?Well, it’s quite good, isn’t it? It works quite well and it’s well-made and it’s fashionable, so everyone buys it, and the whole thing is an Ouroboros tail-chomping snake of self-congratulatory iPhone buying and enjoying. And it makes us sick, frankly.

You’re saying, if something’s good then we shouldn’t buy it?Yes! Well, no. At least consider some alternatives. Like this Contour Roam3. It’s different, because instead of the GoPro’s unaerodynamic flat profile, it’s barrel shaped. Like the barrel of a gun. Which means that instead of looking like a Teletubby, you can mount the Contour on the side of your helmet and look like a future soldier or a Predator or something.

Contour Roam3
Contour Roam3

I quite like the GoPro chest mount actually. You quite like being obtuse is what you quite like. And before you start rabbiting on about your 3D-printed narwhal mounts or whatever, you should know that the Contour has a standard tripod mount in addition to the slidey slots, so there’s lots of mounts and accessories you can find for it. Its lens twists round 270-degrees, for even more flexibility. But do you know what you won’t find on the Roam3?

OK, what won’t you find on the Roam3? A huge pricetag! It’s just £190 (S$395) from contourshop.com, and that gets you 1080p/30fps video, a laser level and 10m waterproofness without an extra case. Match that, GoPro lover.

Um, the 1080/30 GoPro Hero3 White Edition is £200 with its waterproof housing. And it has Wi-Fi. Ah, dammit. The Contour doesn’t have wireless, or an app. And you know why GoPro can up the specs for not much money? Because people like you keep buying GoPros, so GoPros get cheap because there are so many GoPros being bought! Sickening. Now, have you seen this? It’s called the Garmin Virb, and it’s not a bloody GoPro either… 

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