Stuff's office jukebox

[intro]There's a palpable tension in the office today. Is it because we are on deadline? Is there a major product launch happening? Nope. It's becau

There's a palpable tension in the office today. Is it because we are on deadline? Is there a major product launch happening? Nope. It's because both the web team and mag team have music on, and there's conflict. As I write this: Morrisey over here, and Jeff Buckley over there. Let me tell you: it's ghastly.

But I might have the solution. I'm going to kidnap a street urchin – probably using the tried-and-tested trail of M&Ms method – and chain him up in the office. Then, I'm going to give him one of these new Hercules mixers. It's wireless, so Juke (for so the urchin will be named) can hop and dance around the office, in as much as you can hop and dance in leg irons, and keep a steady beat going.

It's going to be smashing. A centralised library of music, to which everyone has right of veto, with tracks mixed or skipped at a single command.

But there's issues, and not the dubious legality of having a slave urchin the office. The Hercules Mobile DJ MP3 only works with PCs and, being magazine publishing types, we've all got Macs. So we'll have to get a PC, and load it up with all our music. More immediately, the Hercules isn't out until March 2007, which is a long time for little Juke to be chained up and redundant. Maybe, with a long enough chain, he could do constant trips to the vending machine for the litres of Diet Coke that Stuff consumes every day.

More info on Hercules here; I'm off to buy some M&Ms.