The measuring tape is dead. Long live the dimensioning pen!

And yet, I think I measure.

Sigh. And this so soon after Microsoft dragged the word ‘performant’ into being. Still, no-one could argue that ‘dimensioning pen’ isn’t a fairly descriptive title for a thing. Except that it’s actually called the InstruMMent 01. It’s US$149, by the way, and it’s available now.

Don’t try and sell it to me yet; I don’t understand what it does.

It measures things. You run the roller end along a surface – there’s a little laser light to help you find your way – and the results are displayed on a corresponding phone app.

• 

• 

• 

I can get a measuring tape for £3.

Ah, but can your so-called measuring tape measure around curved or otherwise shaped objects? Does it have an accelerometer to automatically label the height, width and depth dimensions of a box as you measure it? Does it also come with either a pen, pencil or capacitive touchscreen stylus on one of its ends?

We’ll wager it does not, Sir, and if that multi-functionality’s not worth US$149 and some manhandling of the word ‘dimension’, then we’ll eat our hat.

How’s that hat?

Damn tasty, thanks.