Here comes the royal wedding phone

Special edition phone is cheap, ugly and rubbish, but makes a nice alternative to garishly decorated crockery

Let’s face it, we wouldn’t normally bring you news of a cheap Alcatel handset, even if it had been blinged up a bit. But sometimes we need to share a laugh. Carphone Warehouse is celebrating the forthcoming nuptials of the future king and Kate Middleton with a Union Jack-clad royal wedding edition phone.

The topline features of HRH and his missus’ commemorative blower are a calculator, FM radio and alarm clock. Should the wedding date and royal initials printed on the battery cover not be enough to remind you of the special day, the happy couple appear as the desktop wallpaper on the 1.5in screen and the pre-installed ringtone is Mendelssohn’s Wedding March. Yours for £15 on PAYG at the Carphone Warehouse. Don’t all rush at once.

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