– Hi. Can I speak to Stuff magazine please?
– Can you put me through to your gadget editor?
– Um, well we’re all gadget editors here. How can I help?
– I’m calling on behalf of Sony. We’ve come up with something we think you’re gonna want to take a look at.
– OK, well if you can email through a press release and an image, we’ll have a look and see if it’s suitable for inclusion…
– I’m afraid I can’t use my computer right now. Or, at least, I can’t use the mouse.
– Oh dear. Something wrong?
– Not at all. I’m just demonstrating Sony’s fanstastic new product – The VN-CX1.
– Good name.
– Thanks. Some hipsters around here call it the ‘Mouse Phone’, but I prefer to use the proper nomenclature.
– Mouse phone? Please tell me this is a novelty furry handset shaped like a rodent?
– No, that’s the CX2. We don’t think that one will make it to market.
– So you really are calling on a phone that’s also your computer mouse.
– In what way can that possibly be an improvement on having a mouse AND a phone on your desk?
– Uh, well… the CX1 allows you to make voice-over-IP calls, which are often cheaper than landline calls.
– Ah, you’re using VoIP? That explains why you sound like you’re calling from Mars.
– Nothing, nothing. So what’s the deal with Mouse Phone? Any hidden talents?
– Oh plenty. It’s got an LED on the top that lights up when you get a call
– An LED that’s hidden beneath your hand when you’re using it as a mouse?
– Well, that depends on how you hold a mouse I guess.
– Usually with my hand on top of it.
– Well, you can also set it to audibly ring.
– Nice. Can you set it to squeak?
– Uh, no. Anyway, you hear the ring, then you press the button on the side and it opens up into a clamshell handset, so you can take the call.
– Instead of taking the call on a dedicated handset.
– Exactly. And you can use the scrollwheel to turn up the volume.
– But not to scroll?
– Not when its in phone mode, no. But you could leave it on the desk and use it as a speakerphone.
– But this is VoIP – you can just use your PC as a speakerphone. You don’t need a special mouse.
– Good point.
– So when’s it going to be available?
– Um, I don’t know. It’s not on my screen right now. I’ll check later.
– How much will it cost?
– Don’t know.
– What colours is it available in?
– Look, I don’t know – I need to use my computer to answer those questions. But my mouse is otherwised engaged. I’ll have call you back.
– Okay. Listen, why don’t you call back on your landline, so you can access your notes and talk at the same time.
– Good idea. Speak soon.
– Yeah, thanks for the call.*
* Sadly, this conversation never actually happened. However, the CX1 is a real product, and will be available for £55 when it goes on sale in March