Eek! A mouse-phone!

– Hello?

– Hi. Can I speak to Stuff magazine please?

– Speaking

– Can you put me through to your gadget editor?

– Um, well we’re all gadget editors here. How can I help?

– I’m calling on behalf of Sony. We’ve come up with something we think you’re gonna want to take a look at.

– OK, well if you can email through a press release and an image, we’ll have a look and see if it’s suitable for inclusion…

– Can’t.

– Sorry?

– I’m afraid I can’t use my computer right now. Or, at least, I can’t use the mouse.

– Oh dear. Something wrong?

– Not at all. I’m just demonstrating Sony’s fanstastic new product – The VN-CX1.

– Good name.

– Thanks. Some hipsters around here call it the ‘Mouse Phone’, but I prefer to use the proper nomenclature.

– Mouse phone? Please tell me this is a novelty furry handset shaped like a rodent?

– No, that’s the CX2. We don’t think that one will make it to market.

– So you really are calling on a phone that’s also your computer mouse.

– Yup.

– In what way can that possibly be an improvement on having a mouse AND a phone on your desk?

– Uh, well… the CX1 allows you to make voice-over-IP calls, which are often cheaper than landline calls.

– Ah, you’re using VoIP?  That explains why you sound like you’re calling from Mars.

– Sorry?

– Nothing, nothing. So what’s the deal with Mouse Phone? Any hidden talents?

– Oh plenty. It’s got an LED on the top that lights up when you get a call

– An LED that’s hidden beneath your hand when you’re using it as a mouse?

– Well, that depends on how you hold a mouse I guess.

– Usually with my hand on top of it.

– Well, you can also set it to audibly ring.

– Nice. Can you set it to squeak?

– Uh, no. Anyway, you hear the ring, then you press the button on the side and it opens up into a clamshell handset, so you can take the call.

– Instead of taking the call on a dedicated handset.

– Exactly. And you can use the scrollwheel to turn up the volume.

– But not to scroll?

– Not when its in phone mode, no. But you could leave it on the desk and use it as a speakerphone.

– But this is VoIP – you can just use your PC as a speakerphone. You don’t need a special mouse.

– Good point.

– So when’s it going to be available?

– Um, I don’t know. It’s not on my screen right now. I’ll check later.

– How much will it cost?

– Don’t know.

– What colours is it available in?

– Look, I don’t know – I need to use my computer to answer those questions. But my mouse is otherwised engaged. I’ll have call you back.

– Okay. Listen, why don’t you call back on your landline, so you can access your notes and talk at the same time.

– Good idea. Speak soon.

– Yeah, thanks for the call.*

* Sadly, this conversation never actually happened. However, the CX1 is a real product, and will be available for £55 when it goes on sale in March