Christmas Gift Guide – kitsch

Stuff picks some kitsch kit to cheese up your Christmas

If you’re sick of taking life too seriously, or it taking you too seriously, surround yourself with this kitsch kit…

Alien Abduction Lamp


After a particularly enlightening meditation session here at Stuff HQ, we finally realised what was missing from all of our lives: a high-quality model of a UFO abducting a hapless cow, which also conveniently doubles as an LED desk lamp.


Throwzini Knife Block


Everyone from circus performers to maniacal villains will appreciate the twisted humour of this spinning knife block, which includes five professional chef’s knives. The hapless chap in the middle appears to be the cousin of the even less fortunate voodoo knife block guy; clearly not a popular family.


Rubik’s Cube Salt and Pepper Mills


These Rubik’s cubes make up for the original’s brain-imploding frustration by showering your food with freshly ground salt and pepper via a simple twist of the top layer. None of the other layers are movable, so if you can’t solve it this time round we don’t think you’re quite prepared for this level of culinary technology.


Samurai Umbrella


Fact 1: Samurai swords are cool. Fact 2: The average rainfall in the UK is approximately a billion gallons a year. Okay, Fact 2 might not be strictly true, but this Samurai-sword umbrella is still a bloody good idea.


8-bit Tie


Add a bit of Mario Bros-style class to your office attire with this ingenious 8-bit tie. We can’t promise it will make those spreadsheets any more exciting but there’s nothing to stop you from munching on mushrooms, head butting floating cinder blocks and collecting coins. Well, apart from the horrified looks of your colleagues.


Giant Biro Lid Desk Tidy


A desk tidy is an essential, so why not break the mould and go with something a little different? We’re still holding out for the inevitable accompanying giant biro.


Goldfish Bin Bags


At last, a product able to simultaneously anger the RSPCA and whip up all cats within a 3-mile radius into a frenzy. Admittedly that’s a niche product requirement, but there’s no denying these giant goldfish bags are more exciting than the usual black sacks.


Shotgun Drinks Dispenser


Everyone knows that the worst part of any party (apart from the hangover) is clearing up the next morning. Save yourself some washing up by investing in this shotgun which ditches the glasses altogether and administers a 25ml shot over a distance of 10m. Recommended for use at point-blank range to avoid nasty accidents – sambuca and the human eye do not a good combination make.


Giant LEGO Brick Storage Box


These giant LEGO storage boxes can hold anything your heart desires, from toys to spare towels, and can even be stacked up like the real thing to build home-made forts. Practicality has never been this much fun!

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