Behold the iPillow

Sleeping in a warzone isn’t easy. As if the stress and noise of active military service weren’t enough, you can’t take sleeping pills in case you sudd

Sleeping in a warzone isn’t easy. As if the stress and noise of active military service weren’t enough, you can’t take sleeping pills in case you suddenly need to be up in the middle of the night.

So, according to Reuters, the Danish government has kindly sent twenty MP3-playing pillows to Danish soldiers serving in Iraq and Kosovo. The pillows, made by a Danish company called Musicure, have built-in stereo speakers and are designed to be used with specially produced ambient music that will lull tired soldiers to sleep – perchance to dream.

The pillows have already been successfully tried in Denmark’s hospitals, and Henrik Lundstein, head of the leadership and psychology department at Denmark's Royal Defence College, says: 'We are hoping it can bring relaxing moments in a stressful environment for soldiers who are at the limit of their stress levels.'

Our detailed analysis of the Musicure site, however, has revealed that you can use the iPillow to boost your stress levels. That’s because you can plug any MP3 player into the Muiscure – so Marlilyn Manson or Ozzy Osbourne can whisk you away to play with the Sandman if you prefer.

The dreamy Musicure is available to us civvies, too – albeit at a nightmare-inducing price of US$399. You can even buy an MP3 mattress for US$1199.

If you’re after a cheap and cheerful alternative, Exspect’s inflatable ‘Funbags’ will do a similar job. But you’ll have to put up with a product that has an embarrassing title, an embarrassing shape… even an embarrassing codename: 80085. And you thought calculator humour died in the ’80s.

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