Mophie’s Power Capsule is the missing brick in your iPhone 7 relationship

If music be the food of love, then wireless earphones be the spoons. And spoons be not flat

A headphone case? This is a new low.

Shut it, buster. This isn’t about you. If you ever bothered to swivel your eyes outward from their default narciss-setting, you’d see a whole seventh generation of iPhone users unhappily wading about in their own uncertainty. And it’s the iPhone 7’s lack of headphone jack what’s caused it. Apple’s preaching ‘courage’ but normal folks are already scratching around for enough bravery just to start the day; they don’t have any spare to survive having new port rules foisted upon them.

Cripes. What can we do to help? And, does it have anything to do with the picture?

We’re getting to that. Look, a new smartphone is a relationship. A relationship doesn’t just pop into fully-fledged existence. It has to be built and so, like any building, it needs good foundations. Without good foundations, just when it is getting good and tall – just when you’re starting to get proud of the relationship you’ve built – it’ll all come crashing down and you’ll get hurt. Possibly, megahurt.

Yeah. I still don’t think we’re getting any closer to the thing in the picture.

Wind down your clock speed, Pentium-pants – we’re on the brink of the denouement. See, this Mophie Power Capsule is an essential building block in the foundation of the relationship between an iPhone 7 and its excited new owner. It’s a case for the wireless headphones that they bought to overcome the lack of headphone jack, but it’s a case that’s smuggling a 1400mAh battery to overcome the structural uncertainty that occurs when said owner realises their wireless headphones have run out of power before the end of the day. A new problem, for a new iPhone, overcome. On such £34.95 (RM190) blocks, marvellous long-lasting relationships are based! (Well, until next year, when Apple ‘invents’ the headphone socket.)