It’s called the Rampant, it’s 10’6” (oh my) of thick hard wood (oh my again) created by Roy Stuart and two decades of surfing research for purportedly the smoothest surfing experience possible.
On his website that mostly reads alarmingly similar to ramblings in a mad genius’ diary, Roy states his aim is for the surfer “to leave all competitors literally in the highly efficient wake while appearing to observers to be applying little effort.”
And it boasts some crazy details that marry aesthetic flavour and applications of flow dynamics.
What a lot of wood
To start, the wood itself is a smooth, gorgeous grain, weighing an impressive 31 pounds. The hull is concave, which Roy states will ensure the least drag on the water and will ensure momentum is kept during turns. The board is fixed with a single ridged fin that Roy boasts is fully customisable thanks to the wonders of computers and 3D printing, tailored to the end-user’s surfing preferences.
The centerpiece, so to speak, is this: “a unique 6 inch, scalloped trailing edge, double laminar flow foiled, heart kahikatea wood tunnel fin”, or, a Vort-X fin. The Vort-X features the same scalloped edge on the engines for the new Rolls-Royce Dreamliner 787 that esoterically makes use of advanced hydrodynamics for smoother gliding.
Its aim is to “supercharge” the single fin without sacrificing the responsiveness and turn that a single fin is known for, essentially giving you the advertised 35 miles/hour speeds without losing any directional control.
For a final touch, the board features a lion crest in gold foil and red resin, prominently placed at the head of the board. Roy’s website itself is titled The King’s Ride, and indeed, it seems he has produced a surfboard worthy of and can only be afforded by Tywin Lannister himself.
What most of us can afford though is a Canon Powershot N100 which we used on a Bali trip where we might have spotted much less fancy surfboards.