Ah, Instagram. The drowning pool of flatteringly-angled flawless faces, expertly-lit abs and anti-gravity boobs and butts.
Everyday there seem to be more Instagrammers joining the fray of too good-looking to be true camwhores, vying for your attention while the app data-mines you into a soulless, like-button clicking husk.
On that cheery note, let’s talk about apps that might help you get to the top of the Instagram pile. The types that not only make you look unrealistically gorgeous, but also getting your intentionally misleading photo out there to the huddled masses.
Remember, it’s not photo manipulation for the sake of misrepresentation, but minor tweaks to be an inspiration.
Meitu is probably the most popular beauty app in Asia. Its functions include, but are not limited to, skin smoothening and whitening, eye enlargement, facial slimming and height augmentation. Who needs plastic surgery anyway?
The app is quick, smart and powerful. It’s also packed with a bunch of filters to give your photos that extra sheen of high pretension. There’s a video mode which has filters to automatically give your skin an ungodly glow, just in case you’re an InstaVid fan.
An unintended function of the facial slimming tool is the ability to enlarge and shrink individual parts of the photo more or less non-destructively.
Need a smaller nose? Just pinch your photo until your nostrils are but two lonely pixels on your flawless face. If only Meitu had been around when Michael Jackson still had a nose - this app would have changed his destiny.