If your name is Fido, Tibbles or Mr Kitten Paws, then congratulations: you've gained the ability to read and peruse the internet. And all without opposable thumbs.
If, on the other hand, you're the human companion to said furry friends, then this selection of the best Christmas gift ideas for animal lovers should be right up your scratching post.
We've even chucked in a few treats for your pets, so everyone's happy. Bring on the wagging tails.
Do you miss your pet when you’re at work? Do you sit there, so riddled by concern for your fluffy companion that you don’t notice the phone ringing? Well, we hope you’re not a 999 operator.
Anyway, Petcube could be the answer: it’s a camera that sends a live feed from your home to your smartphone, with a built-in mic and speaker for two-way ‘conversations’. You can even control a laser beam for the rascal to chase.
Cat's Meow (RM80)
Some cats would be happy with a yellow circular mat to play with. Jump on the mat! Hide under the mat! Scratch a dirty great hole in the mat! Do a poo on the mat and expect someone else to clean it up!
But Cat’s Meow is much better than that, because underneath this durable nylon disc is a silent, direction-changing ‘mouse wand’ for your domestic predator to hunt. It imitates the movements of a real terrified mouse, and has four speed settings.
Tractive Motion Pet Activity Tracker (RM310)
Does that dog really spend the whole day asleep on the sofa while you’re at work? Was that cat really “staying over at a friend’s house” last night? Well, it had to happen: there's now a thriving market in wearables for quadrupeds, including this dinky fitness band (and the Tractive GPS, for real-time tracking)
There’s a basic display on the collar-mounted device itself, but the Bluetooth-synced smartphone app (£free / iOS, Android) tells the whole story, allowing owners to manage daily activity targets – so they’ll know exactly how many more laps of the park Daniel the spaniel has to do before he’s allowed to come home and hump a table.
The most efficient device for throwing a ball for your dog to run after is, in most cases, the human arm. But how many people's arms can chuck balls for 30 hours straight without getting tired? How many people’s arms are always available when the dog wants to play? And how many people’s arms look like unplumbed bidets? None. So the dog lover in your life needs one of these automatic, distance-varying ball launchers.