Sure, the iPhone 6s and 6s Plus announcement was pretty cool, the iPad Pro announcement was surprising, and the Apple TV announcement was exciting. But we know you're dying to hear more about the new emojis!
Taco! Unicorn! Middle finger!
All in all, 37 emojis are getting added. More importantly, we know you're dying to get your hands on these emojis yourself. The semantic possibilities are infinite. You already have the option of picking the skin color of your smiley faces.
Emojis are broken down into eight categories: Smileys & People, Animals & Nature, Food & Drink, Activity, Travel, Objects, Symbols and Flags. These new emojis and more are available in iOS 9.1, which ships in November.
But when's a good time to use them? Good question. Here are nine new emojis and the best times to use them.
Image source: Emojipedia
I don't know about you, but smiley faces should never have hands. You could send this emoji to a person you feel close to, especially when they're feeling fragile. But your friend might get the wrong idea and think that the emoji is going to pull them into the screen. Better to write "Hugzzzzz" if you don't want your wires crossed.
Face with Rolling Eyes
You've rolled your eyes in real life, why not in chat? Whenever your friends start to get really punny, it's time to break out the eye-rolling emoji. If someone wants to talk to you about the genius of Kanye West, break out the emoji. Your friend wants you to attend his spoken word event? Break it out.
Code for "your secret's safe with me." Use this emoji when your bro tells you something embarrassing, or someone tells you something embarassing about your bro. And don't break your promise. You don't want to end up like Eliot in Mr Robot. Sadly, this emoji recalls the mask of a gimp suit. There's never an appopriate time to use that information.
Sign of the Horns
If you ever wanted to say "Rock on, bro" but couldn't find the words. For example, when your friend tells you he's watching Love Me Butch's last gig with their lead singer (sorry, Love Me Butch fans). It can also be used sarcastically. For example, when your friend tells you he's watching Bon Jovi (sorry, Bon Jovi fans).
If you insert this emoji at the start of a message, it looks like the unicorn is saying it. It's like you're playing an RPG. What's not to love about a talking unicorn? A talking unicorn that says anything you want!? Make it say something wise and prophetic, like "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness." Or make it say something dumb, like "My feet stink."
Perhaps the weirdest addition to the Activity category ("everyone's favorite activity," Emojipedia jokes). Insert this at the end of a message where you've experienced a moment of wonder. For example, when you've been able to find a parking space on a Friday night. Or when a bird poos on your head twice in one day.
Tacos are inherently good things, even though they aren't very popular over here. In fact, it is our sincere hope that the inclusion of this emoji will help popularise taco burritos. (If only to encourage the supermarkets to stock brands of taco shells other than Old El Paso.)
Aside from the obvious uses (when you're craving popcorn, when you're in the middle of eating popcorn, when you're at the cinema and want to tell your date what to get from the concession stand, etc.) this emoji is perfect for when an argument breaks out and you want nothing to do with it. When A breaks up with B because A slept with C because A didn't know A and B were on a break, and all parties feel the need to air this dirty laundry in your presence, then it's popcorn time!
We'd like to say the middle finger is the most universal emoji you can ever use. For the moments when you need to flip the birdie at a sarcastic comment. Or perhaps in jest when someone tempts you to buy that Sphero BB-8 droid. Whichever the case, the middle finger is the most versatile emoji. Just don't use it indiscriminately and exercise some self-control, okay?