The 5-minute guide to Apple's iPhone 8 event

10) High Sierra is out 25 September

OK. This announcement wasn’t made at Apple’s iPhone event, but rather snuck out on the MacBook makers’ website afterwards. Not that it matters. The important thing is that your iMac, MacBook or MacBook Pro will receive a relatively modest update on September 25, with a few notable tweaks to its Mail, Photos and Notes apps. There. We've told you. Our job is done.

11) Apple Park looks like the most Apple place in the world

In our minds, working at Apple is a one-way ticket to infinite riches and instant fluency in techy nonsense. But as much as we’d love to figure out what Super Retina Display actually means in English, employment in Cupertino would definitely bring one superior perk: grinding out our 9 to 5 on the new Apple Park campus.

According to a ritzy video opening the event, that place is pretty much paradise - a paradise complete with its own forest and the largest solar power installation in the universe (or something). We'll admit we didn't pay attention to every detail, dressed up as it was in that trademark Apple hyperbole.

But it sure does look pretty. And yes, it probably has a better canteen than Stuff HQ too.