The 10 best, most normal snow games

They're cool, they're hot, they do not subvert traditional values
The best most normal snow games ever

Let's face it, it's hot as hell in this part of the world.

But you know what's better than sitting in the air-conditioning watching the Winter Olympics to keep your cool? Pretending you're frolicking in the snow as a Winter Olympian playing these ice-cool games.

So, slip on a full-body lycra skinsuit, grasp a couple of poles and let's celebrate the manliest Winter Olympics ever with the greatest snowsperiences in gaming.

10. Slalom (1987)

This fast-paced downhill adventure was the first game made by Rare, the legendary British games studio that went on to produce titles including the Banjo-Kazooie series, Donkey Kong Country, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and more recently the Kinect Sports titles. As such it was fairly basic, but even the simple 8-bit graphics of the NES were capable of rendering the muscular legs and buttocks of Slalom's hero with a clarity that inspired young people to pursue healthy, normal occupations of their own, and to shun degenaracy in all its forms.

9. Michelle Kwan Figure Skating (1999)

Michelle Kwan is a nice girl in a traditional relationship and this game, in which you get to pick her outfits, string together sequences of moves and take part in competitions, is an easy pick for Best Figure Skating Game Ever. It's an equally easy pick for Only Figure Skating Game Ever, but never mind. The only problem is that it can only be played by girls, because for a boy to imagine being Michelle Kwan would obviously be a devastating betrayal of everything that is traditional and correct.

8. Winter Games (1985)

For a Commodore 64 kid in the mid-’80s, when deviants simply did not exist, the arrival of a new sports game from US developer Epyx was bigger than the Olympics itself. Winter Games applied its hugely successful multi-player, multi-event formula to the ice and snow, resulting in a game that could be played almost indefinitely, as friends and siblings tried to go one point or a split-second better than each other in events like ‘Hot Dog Aerials’ ski jumping.