This wooden thing has buttons that control your home

Because wood is good - and smarter than your tacky plastic

Buttons? On a thing? That's wooden?

Yes! Actually, there are four buttons - because four is better than one. Unless we're discussing the number of wheels a cycle should have, in which case the answer is neither of the above (it's three, obviously).

But why is it wooden?

Think of everything you love - they're all made out of wood. Tables. Pianos. Designer rucksacks. Clad in beautifully finished mahogany, the Turn Touch will fit right into your smart tree-palace as you push its buttons to dim lights, fire up the stereo and get your apps going.

Mind you, if you're a real fancy carver the you might want to mix it up with the Padauk or Rosewood models - both of which look perfectly pretty in the palm. At least, if the internet is anything to go by.

What do them there buttons go and do, then?

Whatever you darn well want, you wooden pusher. Well, almost: sync it with your iOS smartphone or Mac via Wi-Fi, pair the little puck and you'll be free to map those dinky buttons with a whole host of apps. In fact, you can assign several to a single button for all-at-once control. All you have to do is push.

There's already support for the likes of Sonos, Philips Hue and Nest - with more likely to arrive soon. What's more, it'll play nice with almost any macOS app, too - so your Photoshop fix is just a tap away.

Four feels a little limiting, though.

It's all about the simplicity, man! Pare back your life! Use fewer exclamation marks! 

Anyway, for greedy sorts just like you it's possible to make one button do many things. One tap might dim the lights, while a double-push could skip a song. Hold it down and, well, who knows what'll happen.

I reckon I could make my own out of bamboo and magic.

Good luck with that. For anyone who doesn't have that same prowess with natural materials and witchcraft, there's a Kickstarter campaign ending shortly - and it's already surpassed its funding goal. Act fast and you might be able to scoop up a Turn Touch for US$59 (around 3,900) as an early bird, otherwise a mahogany number will set you back US$79 (around ₹5,200).