Drop everything and download: Nonstop Chuck Norris

Nonstop Chuck Norris is non-stop Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris.

Yes, you read that right: the man who gave Windows a Chuck screen of death has a mobile game - and it’s an all-out brawl of selfie stick-wielding, cowboy hat-wearing and roundhouse kicking. It’s an upgrade and level-up marathon that’ll run and run, even if you’re not playing it. After all, how could you ever lose? This man is the reason that your screen protector has a Chuck protector.

Chuck Norris?

Yes, the man who completed Destiny without owning a games console now lives in your pocket. Pull out your phone and you’ll find Chuck running headlong at enemies across isometric levels. He’ll fight them himself, or you can instruct him to perform particular moves. Every enemy defeated means coins and reward crates, which, in turn, mean weapons and outfit upgrades, new items and all kinds of lunacy.

Chuck Norris!

Yes, the man who takes 4K videos using his bare hands now faces bosses with a shadow and a gorilla by his side. As you progress through the game - or leave Chuck progressing on his own - you’ll come across bosses that, of course, pose no problem. Really, this game is about having lots of pointless fun, upgrading to ridiculous levels and never losing. Because Chuck Norris went to Vegas and won using Pokémon cards.

Chuck Norris…

Yes, the man who made who entered the Matrix and made it reboot has a smartphone game the whole purpose of which is never stopping. Hence, ‘Nonstop’. It literally goes and goes and goes - and doesn’t stop being fun. There’s very little skill involved, besides choosing what to upgrade (with ludicrous weapons ranging from baseball bats to chainsaws which, natch, Chuck holds by the blade end), which pet to equip and when to jump to the next level - but it’s addictive in its rewards, and humorous in its quips.

*Chuck Norris*

Yes, the man who put a headphone port back on his iPhone 7 can be found running around in a horse’s head mask, wearing cowboy garms and going on juice-fuelled ‘SUPER CHUCK NORRIS!’ rampages - because there’s very little that’s serious about this game. And that’s exactly why it’ll steal hours of your life.

Nonstop Chuck Norris is available for free for iOS and Android