The 13 things Apple will definitely reveal at the iPhone 8 event
New iPhones? Yep. A new Apple TV? Maybe. Headphone sockets? You’re having a laugh
So what will Tim Cook unveil onstage at Apple’s new HQ?
Blow up a hype balloon and peer into the future via entrails you’ve strung about, because it’s Apple event time.
Later today (12 September), Tim Cook will take to the stage at Apple’s new California HQ to reveal all about several shiny new devices you’ll immediately want to own
So what’s going to happen? Stuff has pulled on its best guessing trousers to help pen the most perfect* Apple event predictions list on the entire internet.
* Unless it’s not perfect. In which case, sorry.
1. The Apple iPhone X
iPhone X? iPhone 8? iPhone Pro? Whatever Apple’s next iPhone’s called, you know it’s going to be a bit special. The rumour mill’s been all over it like an iRash, and so we’re well prepared for a wallet-thumping £1000 / $1000 device that’s mostly screen, has an amazing dual-lens camera, and – gulp – lacks a Home button. Because Apple can’t stop itself removing things from iPhones.
Likelihood rating: Is the sky blue?
2. A new iPhone 8 and iPhone 8 Plus
Apple usually tick-tocks iPhone releases, with ‘s’ lines every other year, but this year it looks like it’s jumping straight to the iPhone 8 / 8 Plus models.
Don’t think that means we’ll be getting more substantial updates than the usual ‘S’ models get, though: it looks like all the good stuff is being saved for the iPhone X, so expect merely modest updates to the existing iPhone 7 and 7 Plus here, among them a new super-fast A11 processor.
Likelihood rating: Are Apple earbuds white?
3. A 4K Apple TV
A new 4K Apple TV seems likely – although we’re hoping for a bit more. And even if there’s spangly tvOS magic we don’t yet know about (multiple user profiles, please), Apple could blaze through everything to do with Apple TV in a few minutes. It depends whether Apple wants to focus purely on iPhone, really. Well, and whether a new Apple TV’s actually ready.
Likelihood rating: About the same as you grabbing the Siri Remote in the dark and it being the right way up when you try to use it
4. The Apple Watch Series 3
Apple Watch is in much the same space as the Apple TV. We know a new one’s on its way – it’s just a question of when. But given that – SIM rumours aside – Apple’s wearable remains more iPhone accessory than standalone unit, the Series 3’s introduction at an event with a shiny new iPhone makes a lot of sense. Expect the same old square design.
Likelihood rating: About the same as you raising your wrist and your Apple Watch’s face lighting up
5. More info about iOS 11
Given that it’s in public beta, there aren’t many iOS 11 surprises lurking. Perhaps the new iPhone will get new gestural smarts, but that’s about it. What we don’t yet know is the release date. Tim Cook might do a dramatic pause and then say “today”; if not, expect it to power up your iPad and more besides by the end of September.
Likelihood rating: As likely as the next version of iOS being named iOS 12
6. A self-congratulatory run through Apple’s greatest hits
Turns out this is the tenth anniversary of the original iPhone. What, you missed that? Well it hasn’t been big news…
Anyway, Apple never needs much excuse to give itself a big ol’ pat on the back, so expect a stonking great montage of the iPhone’s greatest hits, set to a soundtrack of U2 (possibly). There’s a good chance it’ll gloss over the whole ‘bendgate’ thing though.
Likelihood rating: Nailed on
7. No new iPads, MacBooks or iMacs
The new iPad Pro launched at WWDC in June and new and upgraded Macs have been arriving like clockwork too. It’s unlikely we’ll see much of these lines at what’s traditionally an iPhone event, then, unless Apple fancies showing off the iMac Pro again.
Likelihood rating: Just take this one as read, alright?
8. More details about the HomePod
Apple first revealed its smart speaker / Sonos rival at WWDC in June, but while we got to see what it looks like, and hear what it sounds like, we didn’t get the all-important UK price and release date info. Expect that information to spew forth during the event, and we’ll possibly also get a longer, deeper look at how exactly this Siri-powered device works and why we should be really excited about it.
Likelihood rating: As likely as Apple using the event to plug one of its favourite-bands-that-nobody-else-likes
9. Revamped AirPods
The same iOS leak that gave us the name of the new iPhone also points towards a new set of AirPods. And, no, Apple’s not joining them with a wire, or gluing them to your ears. The most visible change is apparently the charging light moving to the outside of the case. (What? Not all updates are exciting.)
Likelihood rating: May warrant a passing mention. More so if an Apple exec goes mad and actually starts glueing them into people’s ears
10. High prices – which people will moan about
Rumour has it the flagship iPhone’s going to be properly expensive, starting at US$999 (which will translate to close to a grand in Sterling). Other iPhones won’t be cheap either. Yet this will come as a huge shock to some people who’ll argue the sky is falling, and Apple is doomed (for the billionth time).
So here’s one prediction we’ll make that will definitely come to pass: that new iPhone’s going to sell like hot cakes, even if it costs a grand
11. Some seriously cool AR stuff
As ever, people rant Apple’s missed the boat on AR, like we’re all now living in virtual worlds – apart from those poor fools using iPhones. But ARKit opens up a great many possibilities likely to be demoed on stage alongside the new iPhone – one being that only through Apple’s devices will we see ‘reality’.
Likelihood rating: Depends whether you take the space grey pill or the rose gold one
12. A massive animated 3D poo
This probably isn’t going to be the pinnacle of Apple’s achievements, but we’re hearing rumours Messages will have expressive ‘Animoji’ that will track your face, shortly before laughing in it. Apple may choose to showcase the tech using a non-fecal option, however, given that it’s not run by the guys behind South Park.
Likelihood rating: As if emoji weren’t already annoying enough. It’s an absolute cert
13. The fact that the iPhone X is really just an elaborate bluff. Maybe
Perhaps the latest naming rumour is itself a hoax. Having grown tired of the tech press’ relentless griping at Apple’s cutting-edge kit, released several times per year, Tim Cook will have a KLF moment: he’ll scrawl an X across an original iPhone, hurl it at a startled journalist, yell “I’M DONE HERE”, and storm off for an extra-long hike.
Likelihood rating: Nah. Tim’s too cool for school. Besides, the shareholders would hurl him into the sea