Optik Horizon (£349)
Time waits for no-one, not even design doyens on a deadline. And there's no more oppressive object in the life of a creator than the ceaseless second hand – forever turning, forever making you late for yet another filing.
Put down that fifth coffee and get a sense of perspective: Optik's reimagined watch ditches hands altogether, rotating once every 24 hours instead. To tell the time, simply read off the dial at the red mark. Simple – and so much less stressful than the ever-ticking finger.
Pipework Candlestick (£28)
What is plumbing if not the source of all beauty in the world? Intricate pipework, copper seals, brass valves: all the stuff of domestic design dreams.
And now you can have that under-basin chic right on your dining room table. Like something straight out of a Sims expansion pack, these drippy dazzlers make a perfect centrepiece for your plumbing palace.
Victrola VS-140 (£230)
This stylish Bluetooth speaker might look like a coffee table. It might even be called a coffee table. But, let's be honest, it's no place for a steaming mug of rooibos – even with a bamboo coaster beneath it.
No, as true minimalists know, functional feature furniture shouldn't actually be used – simply looked at and occasionally caressed.
Feeling the itch of practicality? If you really must, you can use it to play a song. Just one. But you'd better polish it after.
Office Block (£30)
When your days are filled with a spectrum of saturation, colours coming to life as you dab and daub across canvas and wall, sometimes you need a cold hard touch of reality to keep your suede slippers on the ground.
This concrete desk organiser should do the trick: sit it next to your easel, fill it with paintbrushes and periodically caress its hard edges, for a ready reminder of the real world outside your studio.
Libratone Zipp 2 (£279)
Neighbours forever hassling you to zip it with the ambient beats? Make your riposte witty and literal with this Bluetooth number from Libratone.
Featuring a funky zip around its waist, the second-generation of this stylish speaker is more than just good looking: packing all-round sound to start the party, it's got Alexa on-board for inspiring input whenever you heckle. Buy a bundle and it can even do multi-room music, for a party throughout your art deco pad.
Native Union Drop Charger (£50)
Wireless chargers are all well and good, but a tacky plastic puck has no place in your Scandi-chic tech nest.
Mercifully, this aluminium and fabric number from Native Union blends form and function to fine effect. Compatible with the newest iPhones and all Qi-equipped kit, the Drop’s non-slip silicone top helps keep your mobile cool while the 10W rapid charging does its stuff.