7) Trying to replace real thighs
Meet the Hizamakura Lap Pillow (US$75), where restful slumber meets pretty damned awkward. Back in the 2000s these lady leg simulators were all the rage and in the past few years they've experienced an unexpected resurgence in popularity. Maybe high-flying businessmen are simply fed up with their lot? Maybe the world is suffering an epidemic of varicose veins and lap pillows are a less unsighly alternative to real bipedry? We don't think we'll ever know for sure.
For those who are less upset by the idea of replacing humans with fabric, feast yourselves on this USB Heated Air Hug Pillow (US$55), which lets you have a snuggle without the irriations of another person's snoring, breathing, or sexual advances.
8) Making laziness more difficult
It's surprising how many items we come across that complicate things which should be simple, or even worse, make things harder rather than easier for the user. The lazy aren't known for their abundant drive to get things done and certainly aren't going to appreciate their item of convienience turning into an item of arduous exercise.
The Super Gorone desk (US$119) is the perfect example of this exact problem. We've all experienced moments when we're so knackered that sitting in bed with a laptop seems the only option. The Gorone desk, in theory, wants to take that slovenly experience to the next level by allowing you to lie down with the laptop above you.
Only first you have to get it out, and then unpack it, and then strap your laptop to it, and then angle it upside down, and then undo all of that when you're finished and want to sleep, and then go to the doctor's surgery when the inevitable strain of holding your hands upward becomes too much for your arms to bear. Oh dear.
9) Complete and utter insanity
This one, of course, goes without saying, but we think you'd be surprised at the degree of madness pervading the world of things and their creators. While we appreciate the extent of their imagination and determination to express their thoughts through creative design, a creation that has clearly arisen from the dark recesses of an unhinged mind is probably better off staying there.
We don't think that the above video of a device designed to transmit kisses over the internet requires any further explanation. Madness, utter madness.