17 ways to be the worst person on Facebook

12. Bringing politics into everything (see also, Jesus)

To them, it’s a perfectly innocuous picture of their dog. To you, it’s an opportunity: dog means tramp means Welfare State or coalition cuts or whatever particular political point you want to score, and you’ve got the links and charts to prove it. The same technique also works very well with religion: “he looks so patient and caring and he has a wet nose, just like Jesus!”

13. Cross-posting from Twitter

in reverse chronological order. #fb

into seven individual status updates that appear #fb

that break a single, relatively uninteresting post #fb

with automated cross-posts from Twitter #fb

It’s much better to pollute everybody’s screen #fb

Normal status updates are no fun. #fb

15. Going comping crazy

Facebook competitions

Comping - entering competitions - can be fun, but it’s even more fun now that you have to Like and Share Tom’s World of Toilets every day for a fortnight on the off-chance that you might win an iPad. Between competition Likes and shares, app invitations and Page recommendations, it’s possible to fill everyone’s feed with fluff with very little effort. And who knows, you might win that iPad too. 

16. Deleting comments

There’s something uniquely unnerving about disappearing Facebook comments, and provided they’re on your posts it can be you that’s doing the disappearing. This one’s at its most effective when there’s no apparent logic, rhyme or reason to your choices.

17. Falling out and making up again

Couples’ Facebook arguments are bad enough, but if you really want to get people hiding your posts you need to up the ante and make up in public too. “Snookums, I’m sowwy. I want you, and I’m not wearing pants” should do the trick.