When form doesn’t follow function: 15 of the ugliest phones that ever existed

Elfoid (2011)

This Japanese-made phone aimed to make the mobile communication experience a lot more human - literally. If its form doesn’t creep you out already, the Elfoid had you speaking into its belly while the caller's voice emenated from its face. We hear the final version will mirror the caller’s movements via facial recognition software to become a writhing thing of evil clad in real skin. Shudder.

Kyocera/Sprint Echo (2011)

While others were busy making humanoid phones, Kyocera was busy making a nice big-screen device. And then destroyed the whole viewing experience by running a seam through its middle. While it makes for a more compact device, the only way the view isn't wrecked is when the two screens are operating independently of each other. Still, good for multitasking, which is worth something.

Lamborghini T700 (2012)

Available in five colours, each of which had 650 units produced, the US$2750 Lamborghini T700 was the result of a collaboration between Prada, Ferrari, and Lamborghini. Clad in diamond-cut metal, sapphire glass and... crocodile skin, it was aimed at people with expensive (but clearly poor) taste.

Siemens Xelibri 6 (2003)

Released as part of Siemens' fashion range, the Xelibri 6 was half phone, half powder case. Clearly targeted at the female market, it allowed users to check their reflections in not one, but two mirrors, in between checking their messages. Way to stereotype women, Siemens.

More after the break...

Nokia 7380 (2005)

Released as part of Nokia’s L’Amour collection, this lipstick-sized phone killed productivity with its controls. Or rather, its lack of them. Given how small and lousy its screen was at all of 208x104 pixels, you were better off making calls with a Mars bar. Slowly and painfully use its circular spinner to dial numbers and type messages one character at a time? Welcome to tech hell.

Vertu Signature Bucheron Cobra

The Signature Bucheron Cobra was only available in a limited quantity of 8 for US$310,000 each. There’s also a Python version available which ran a higher order of 26 units at US$115,000 each. Not that you'd be able to tell the two apart, mind. Both serpents looked like they’ve been glued on by a factory line of preschool children too. Not the cleverest of investments, we think you'll agree.

Nokia 7600 (2003)

Aimed at the fashion market, the unusual and impractical teardrop shape of the 7600 led to the keys being relegated to two columns on either side of the screen. We’re all for creativity but not if it requires us to mentally re-calibrate our brains for under-the-desk texting. Thanks, but no thanks.

GoldVish Le Million (2006)

This over-the-top phone set the bar as the most expensive phone ever at €1M. We're not sure what else to say.

So we'll just curl up and cry instead.

READ MORE: 11 classic Nokia phones that changed the world (and 9 crazy ones that entertained us along the way)

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