Shhh. We all know what day it is.
Let's just do our best to grind through all the nonsense as best we can. These things should help you escape from the cheap cards and red... fluffy stuff:
Watch Kevin Spacey strut his stuff
Sadly Mr Spacey isn't taking to the stage in any West End productions, so you won't get to see him in person. But you can still enjoy him in all his evil conniving glory on House of Cards, season 2, which just hit Netflix in its entirety at 8:01am this morning.
Spend it with Ellen Page. Sort of.
Naughty Dog is gifting fans with its first (and probably last) offering of downloadable content for The Last of Us. It's a prequel that follows the 'officially-not-Ellen-Page-but-practically-her-clone' Ellie and her friend Riley, before she's lost and Ellie meets up with Joel. Shooty action and a cracking story await.
READ MORE: The Last of Us review
More after the break...
The Lego movie hits UK cinemas today and, just like the bricks themselves, it's just as fun on your own as it is with other people. Check out our best Lego minifigures and best Lego movies to keep you going until you hit the cinema.
And now for something completely different
Pontypool is a 2008 low-budget zombie flick set on Valentine's Day. Hardly screams romance, does it? But there's nothing better than a horde of undead to kill off the last lingering remnants of soppy hearts, over-priced roses and cheap teddy bears. Intelligent, suspenseful, and an ideal way to cosy up under a blanket with someone. You rascal you.
Create a friend
We're not saying you're desperate, but if all else fails then your 3D printer could save the day by forging your very own Portal companion cube.
And if you don't have a 3D printer, have no fear. Just print this out, stick it together, and you're golden.
READ MORE: 5 of the best video game prop replicas