Toasteroid brings smartphone control to your breakfast bread

What if I like my bread crisp and clear?

For those of a traditional toast disposition, the Toasteroid can handle mark-free toasting, too. Seven levels of brownness can be previewed and set using the app, whilst a fancy micro-filament will deliver delightfully consistent crunch.

OK, I’m interested. But what about sending messages to my mates?

You can do that, too. As long as they’ve got push notifications enabled, you’ll be able ping pretty pictures to your pals for them to print at breakfast. Forget greetings card: the future is birthday bread.

Does it look nice?

You bet it does. Die-cast aluminium, smooth curves and plenty of shiny parts make the Toasteroid an intelligent addition to any smart kitchen.

Better still, there’s function to match the form, with an array of nifty features – including a clever crumb tray and integrated cord storage – that would make your nan proud.

I’m sold. How can I get one?

Presently searching for much-kneaded funding through Kickstarter, the Toasteroid will be available in two sizes.

The US$79 Toasteroid X1 can handle two slices simultaneously, printing on both, whilst the Mini X1 will set you back US$59, taking two but printing on only one.

Isn’t that a bit steep for a glorified bread warmer?

Just wait until your marriage proposal goes down a toasty treat.