Jason Godfrey: 10 ways to game in peace without the girlfriend

8) Gaming Makes Your Brain S M R T

"Says Homer Simpson, who clearly knows how to spell smart.

Gaming may sometimes have juvenile themes but video games are inherently cognitively complex. Not only does video game playing improve eye-to-hand coordination and increases one’s decision-making ability, it also increases the grey matter in the brain, and causes one’s ‘brain flexibility’, otherwise known as the “cornerstone of human intelligence”, to surge.

Clearly, your girl wants what is best for you, and if controlling drone strikes and trying to accumulate knife kills give you an intellectual edge, than who is she to stop you from improving yourself?"

More after the break...

9) Accomplished People are Gamers

"Whenever your behaviour is in question, just find someone who behaves similarly but has achieved more than you. Notable famous gamers are Snoop Dog, Ice T, Jack Black, Seth Rogan, and hot girl Mila Kunis. If your girlfriend can’t buy an argument that gaming is good enough for rappers, comedians, and pretty girls who want attention, then you won’t be able to sell her anything.

You could also include Alex Garland, author of The Beach, to the list of gamers. But since he has only attributed his gaming addiction once to a bout of prolonged writer’s block, it’s probably better to leave him out of it."

10) Write for Stuff

"That’s what I did. Now when my girlfriend gives me a malevolent look that would make a puppy's brain explode or starts to moan that I’m gaming until my eyes look ready to bleed, I shout back with complete righteous indignation, “For the love of all that is holy, I AM WORKING!”

And it’s true. Sort of. Maybe. All that matters is it stops her short. Getting paid and having an excuse to game really is the perfect storm to subdue an anti-gaming girlfriend.

But don’t you all go and apply for a gig at Stuff. I need this job. Serious."

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