The maddest speaker docks ever

Whether they're absurdly powerful or just absurd, these docks are far and away the strangest things that you can pop your iPod, iPad or iPhone into
Artful Speaker Trombone

Artful Speaker Trombone

Let's face it, your phone's feeble speakers don't really cut it when it comes to filling the room with your tunes – so you'll need to get yourself a speaker dock.

But for some, the pursuit of noise has led them to a strange place, beyond human ken. And these weird and wonderful speaker docks are the fruit of their labours…

AeroDream One Lalique (US$560,000)

AeroDream One Lalique

AeroDream One Lalique

Got half a million dollars to burn? If cost truly is no object, you could install this bonkers dock designed by Jean Michel Jarre in your house – it's 11ft tall and requires you to climb a ladder to mount your iThing atop it. On the plus side, it delivers 10,000W of noise. You also get free tickets to a Jean Michel Jarre concert, and the opportunity to meet the man himself. Whereupon you can ask him, "What were you thinking?"

iXoost òt (from €5000)

iXoost

iXoost

Seemingly designed for Jeremy Clarkson, the iXoost (exhaust, get it?) is fashioned from an F1 exhaust manifold. The smaller V8 option crams in 4 70W amplifiers and a 140W subwoofer, while power-crazed petrolheads can also pick up V10 and V12 models.

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Artful Speakers (from £600)

Artful Speakers

Artful Speakers

Designed by artist John Farnham, these docks repurpose brass instruments, turning them into acoustic amplifiers that parp out your tunes without the need for electricity. You can even have your own instrument turned into a dock – finally, a use for that tuba you were lumbered with in the school orchestra. 

Behringer iNuke Boom (US$30,000)

Behringer iNuke Boom

Behringer iNuke Boom

This cartoonishly-large iPod dock will have you convinced that your eyes are playing tricks on you – it measures in at 4ft by 8ft, weighs 315kg and pumps out a whopping 10,000W. If you want something a bit more reasonable, Behringer sells the somewhat smaller iNuke Boom Junior for just shy of £100.

iPad TonSchrein 2.0 (£Not for sale)

iPad TonSchrein 2.0

iPad TonSchrein 2.0

Okay, we get that Apple fans can get a bit overly-reverential towards their iThings, but an actual shrine? Created by photographer Georg Dinkel, the "Sound Shrine" is made from polymer clay and painted in a metallic finish, cramming a 25W, 2.1 speaker system and iPad 4 dock with Lightning connector into its German Gothic frame. Sadly (mercifully?) it's a personal project, so it isn't for sale. But if you're an oil-rich oligarch with a taste for medieval bling, we're sure you could commission one of your very own.