5 ways to ruin your eyesight

Down with healthy eyes, all hail thick glasses. Follow the tips below if you want peepers like Darth Maul's

We spoke to Dr Gerard Nah, Medical Director for W Eye Clinic, to address some glaring issues that people were facing and to shed some light on existing eye problems in the workplace. Yes, it was a real eye-opener.

However, it was just a pretext. What we really wanted to learn was how to ruin our eyesight, because everyone knows people look way better with sith-like eyes or dorky glasses. Right?

Image: Wookieepedia

1. Dry your eyes out

Dry eyes are more susceptible to infection, so that’s what you should go for. Blink as little as you possibly can, and no matter what you do, don’t use eye drops, even when it hurts.

Incidentally, this could also result in blurry or double vision, which sounds really fun, so make it last by not seeing a doctor.

Image: the eye practice

2. Pain and strain

We don’t know about you, but headaches really make our day. To get a good headache, simply strain your eyes by continuously focusing on your computer or mobile device screen for hours at a time. Avoid looking into the distance for a couple of minutes out of every 20, because that'll reverse the damage. 

Remember, the more strain, the better.

Image: How to improve your eyesight without surgery

More after the break...

3. Make your screen as bright as possible

If dry eyes aren’t your thing, why not go for watery eyes instead? They’re just as uncomfortable and easy to achieve. Crank up the brightness on your screen, and make sure the glare is too much to bear. Being in a darkened room will only enhance the experience. If you’re really lucky, your eyes could also start to burn, so don’t stop staring at those devices. 

If you start developing eye discharge that’s thick and green or experience excruciating pain, congratulations, you have achieved the highest form of unhealthy eyes - those of a Sith lord. Do not see an ophthalmologist or your work will go to waste. Image: globalpost

4. Keep things close

Your eyes are most comfortable with having your mobile device at a 40-50cm distance, so go ahead and close that gap. This will make your eyes constantly shift in and out of focus, tiring them quickly. 

Sometimes, your eyes could start perceiving colours differently too. It’s rare and really quite an achievement, so again, don't seek medical aid.

Image: Computer how to guide

5. Don’t correct your budding myopia

Short-sightedness is the ultimate goal, because they allow us to wear fashionable glasses with ultra-thick lenses. If you observe enough of the earlier tips, you will probably develop myopia, but that’s just the beginning. Now you should wear inaccurately-prescribed glasses to ensure your myopia worsens, thereby achieving thicker and cooler lenses.

If you had so much fun that you want to do everything again, there are surgical and non-surgical options to completely reset your myopia, allowing you to destroy your eyes again. Kind of like re-playing a game you love.

Image: gettyimages

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